


Rising.

by evadings



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-10-14 21:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17515835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evadings/pseuds/evadings
Summary: i'll untie you from the strings caught in your wings.





	1. We Are Young.

Daniel didn't understand how he ended up at one of Kurt and Blaine's erotic coffee dates.

No, kidding about the erotic part. There was nothing sexy about the Lima Bean. And there was definitely nothing sexy about discussing Finn Hudson and his clear jealousy or dislike of Blaine. ". . . He gives me these looks, like,  _What does he think he's doing?_ I know what I'm doing."

It didn't take much for him to look up from his book when Kurt kicked his ankle gently as if saying,  _Encourage him_. "I think you're doing amazing, Blaine." Daniel spoke with a bright smile after wincing and he leaned down to rub his ankle.  _Hey, guys --_ he heard, causing him to sit up abruptly, hitting the top of his head with the bottom of the table.

". . . I'm sitting over there, checking out this  _guy,_ " The owner of the voice nudged Daniel out of his chair, causing him to scowl, rolling his eyes. "and all of a sudden, I'm, like,  _Wait a second, I know that hair._ What's up, buddy? I haven't seen you online."

Daniel raised a brow, glancing at Blaine, like --  _What the hell are you doing? Are you cheating on Kurt? If you are, I'll literally kick you in the face_. The latter waved it off, assuring him he most definitely wasn't.

A small, uninterested, "Hi, Kurt" caused Daniel to throw a glare Sebastian's way. It wasn't the fact that he'd  _said_ it really. It was the way he'd said it -- As if Kurt was the least important person in the world to Blaine and Daniel loved Kurt and Blaine's relationship. And either way, this guy was shady. Or looked shady. Both. You could see by his emphasis for words that didn't need to be emphasized.

"So, how did you and Blaine meet?" Daniel spoke up quickly with a forced smile, tilting his head. "I mean, I'm just  _so_ curious because you and Blaine seem to have known each other for  _so long_. Surely as long as Kurt and Blaine have." He paused, "Has anyone told you you sound drunk? Maybe it's the emphasis. I mean,  _I_ know  _all_ about drunk people. Blaine, here, turned straight once."

Cue another kick from Kurt.

" _Or_  . . . don't answer that." Daniel took the seat in front of the Warbler,  _Romeo and Juliet_ in his hands as he opened it up again, eyes scanning the words. He could literally  _feel_ Sebastian's eyes on him -- as if observing him. The fact that someone was staring at him jumbled with thoughts of being insulted and him not even realizing it.

He tapped his index finger against the book -- a nervous mannerism before letting out a deep breath, putting his book down and rising from his seat, grabbing his coffee cup. When he did, he noticed that Sebastian hadn't even been staring at him. His breath hitched before he walked toward the counter, asking for a refill.

"Hey."

Daniel turned at the sound of Blaine's voice and he smiled. "Hi. You left Kurt and Sebastian  _alone_? You realize they're going to kill each other when they get the chance." He spoke teasingly with a snicker, shaking his head.

Blaine laughed. "Oh, I know. I know. Sebastian practically idolizes me. I don't know why."

Daniel did. Blaine was attractive -- even Rachel was attracted to him, he was talented, he had the whole  _good boy who would beat you up_ aura, he cared about others before he cared about himself. Practically the dream boy, no wonder Kurt had fallen in love with him. "Oh, please, Blaine. You  _know_. You just can't admit it." He chuckled, shrugging.

The other boy raised a brow. "I don't -- "

"Dig  _just_  a bit deeper into the depths of his soul and you'll figure it out. It's not that hard to see -- You're just . . ." He hesitated with his words before breathing it out, "kind of oblivious." He grabbed his coffee cup -- all black, it energized him more than coffee with sugar -- before walking back to his seat.

". . .  _And one of us has the hard-luck case of the gay face and it ain't me_."

Daniel took a seat, grabbing his copy of  _Romeo & Juliet _again, looking up every now and then, hearing Kurt and Sebastian insult each other. He couldn't help but nearly choke on his coffee when he heard  _You smell like Craigslist._

He tilted his head and chuckled, looking up from his book. "He even looks a bit like Craigslist, don't you think, Kurt?"

"Like you're one to speak, babyface?" Sebastian raisedyes a brow, his usual smirk on his face as he rolled his eyes, causing Daniel to sarcastically smile at him. And then Blaine arrived and then something about having to run -- Oh, Daniel didn't know. He didn't care.

He let out a breath and a bright smile. "Well, that went great!" He turned to Kurt, "Hey, Kurt -- It turns out your boyfriend is  _much more_ oblivious than we thought. Why don't we inform him about  _why_ Sebastian Whatever-His-Last-Name-Is acts this way around him?"

"I know how --" Daniel cut Blaine off and spoke, " _Hey, what's up, buddy? I haven't seen you online._ " He mocked. "Seriously? You know how he feels and you don't stop texting him? I don't get it."

Kurt threw a sharp glare in Daniel's direction. "Shut your blabbering mouth, Daniel. Of course Blaine knows what he's doing." He looked at his boyfriend. "And besides, I trust him. You  _do_ know what you're doing, don't you?"

Blaine nodded. "Of course I do," He spoke. "I'm not even interested him in that kind of way. He's just . . . He's nice."

Right. Nice.

• • •

"What we need to sell here is  _sex_!"

Daniel cringed visibly as Sam did a body roll. He was back and suddenly, he thought  _he_ could take control of what they  had to do for Sectionals. He liked the thought of sex as much as the next person, but did they really have to . . .  _go_ for that factor when there was going to be parents and teachers and  _students_ that would mock them for the rest of their lives?

"What the hell is that?"

"It's -- It's a body roll."

He let out a sigh, "Come on, I liked the Blaine spin." He crossed his arm across his stomach as he spoke quietly while all the boys, except for Blaine and Kurt "I'm not exactly comfortable with . . .  _that_." He gestured toward Sam, looking at Mr. Schue with pleading eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, come on, it's a body roll. I'm sure you've --"

"I'm still a virgin for a reason, Sam. Literally all of you -- except Rory -- have lost your virginities and it's probably because you guys are comfortable with doing your supposed body rolls on stage."

So he wasn't exactly the most confident person about his body. It was normal for teenagers to not feel comfortable in their own skin. It started for him when he was skipping meals during The Depression Of The Early Teenage Years, as he and Santana called it to ease the tension a little bit. Even  _staring_ at his stomach was kind of frustrating when his thoughts took him to the bad memories.

It was as if the boys hadn't even  _heard_ him as they began to cheer Sam on about his 'body rolls,' 'sex,' whatever. He caught Blaine's glance of,  _Ay dios mio_ as he spoke up, "No, that's not what we need. We don't have to . . .  _resort_ to  _that_. It's cheap. You know, it's . . . it's selling out."

Daniel chewed on his lower lip, Finn looking at him as if asking him to encourage Sam. "He's right." He shrugged. At Puck's look of  _Come on, dude,_ he raised his hands in surrender. "What?! He is! I'm not exactly comfortable here and he  _is_ right. I'm on the side of Science and Science is telling me  _You're not a stripper_. By  _Science_ , I mean -- My  _brain_ , which apparently all of you lack if you think this is going to make us  _win Sectionals_."

"Look, you two! I came here to win!"

"If you think that sexualizing ourselves is going to make us win, you couldn't be more wrong, Sam." Daniel protested, but again, it was like no one else could hear him. Their hearing was clearly selective.

Sam continued speaking, "And when you're desperate, sometimes you got to, you know, use your assets and do what you got to do to get back that advantage. This," Cue the body roll. "is the advantage."

Blaine scoffed, "Of course that's what  _you_ think, you have to think that in order to  _sleep_ at night."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It  _means_ that  _I'm_   _not_ for  _sale_."

And that was when hell  _nearly_ broke loose. Just almost. If it wasn't for Mr. Schue and Finn, Sam probably would've gotten knocked out. Seeing Blaine lose his temper wasn't exactly something Daniel had been expecting to see.

When Blaine left, Daniel looked across the room. From Puck all the way to Kurt. He let out a sigh. "You guys play  _some_  equality card." He drawled sarcastically. "Are any of you going to --" He saw Kurt get up and run after Blaine before he even finished his sentence.

"Combine them. The body roll and the spin or just the hands. Those are the Warblers signature moves and the Warblers won  _their_ Sectionals. If we win, that's what we're up against at Regionals; Body rolls and jazz hands."

When Sam began doing a move that was very reminiscent of a body roll with a small spin, Daniel nodded. "Yeah, like that. Blaine has won much more show choir competitions than all of us combined, just remember that  _before_  you start talking about how our bodies are our assets or whatever."

After rehearsal finished and many smartass comments were made, Daniel threw his backpack over his shoulder before coming face-to-face with Rory Flanagan. He let out a small scream, tripping onto one of the chairs and taking a seat, hiding his face with his backpack. "I didn't mean to out you of the virgin closet. Please don't go all  _Leprechaun_ on me. Those movies are  _scary_."

When he looked up, seeing that Rory was not at all offended and instead wore a bright smile on his face. "I know what those movies have said, but I won't go all murder alien on ya'." He spoke with an Irish accent, although Daniel could understand him perfectly. Maybe it  was his geniusness.

"Oh, yeah, cool, cool, cool. Of course . . . you won't." Daniel trailed off awkwardly, standing up and his body nearly coming in contact with Rory. "People in America don't usually stand this close together unless they're about to go all, like, Clary and Jace in that cave, so I am going to move a little, don't get offended and kill me." He stepped to the side, picking up his backpack and walked off the riser.

Rory furrowed his eyebrows, but shook it off as Daniel began walking, pretty much gesturing for him to walk with him. "How do you like McKinley so far? I know it's not the  _ideal_ school, but we can't all go to Dalton Academy, right?" He nudged him playfully.

"Well, I was friends with Brittany before the whole --"

"Leprechaun thing went down. I know. That was awkward." Daniel winced visibly, remembering it befoe pausing. "I mean, I totally get why you did it! Needing a friend and all! So, there was no problem with, like . . . manipulating her . . . into sex . . . and all by giving her . . . Lucky Charms." He blinked. "Oh, my God -- That is  _everything_ wrong in the world.  _You_  are everything wrong in the world."

Rory sighed, almost apologetically. "I was hoping we could put all that behind us. Like, with everyone, ya' know?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I get it, Rory. Luckily for you, I'm an awesome person and if I could forgive Finn for outing Santana, I can forgive you for . . . I'm not going to repeat it -- It's so wrong to forgive -- Hi, there -- you for that. I'm wildly popular. I know everyone." He explained at Rory's questioning look before stopping at a classroom.

"Debate Club?"

"Uh, duh. I'm awesome. I'm president of the debate club. After Keith left, I was chosen as president. I'm probably th smartest kid in school. Besides Tina." He chuckled lightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Flanagan."

And with that, he entered the room with a bright smile.

• • •

When Buenos Aires began playing through the speakers, Daniel's eyes widened as he gasped, holding onto Tina's hand.  _Evita_ was iconic and holy hell -- the Gerber Baby was singing Buenos Aires. He knew Harmony Sawyer -- They'd once met when she was dropping off her little sister at the same school his brother went to.

Tina swatted his hand away, a clear implication that  _You're worse than Kurt and Rachel, let me go!_ He mouthed the words, wiggling his shoulders as he bobbed his head to the song. Shaking her head, Tina laughed softly, elbowing him in the ribs playfully and softly.

When the song ended, he got up, dismissing himself as he walked out of the auditorium with a bright smile as he walked toward the choir room. And there was Sebastian Smythe with his smirky little face and his Craigslist smell and instead of his Warbler blazer, an expensive black sweater, tight black jeans, topped off with black combat boots.

"Mm, aren't you surprisingly attractive?"

Daniel crossed his arms, almost defensively as he tilted his chin up. "What are  _you_ doing here? Don't tell me Blaine invited you. I would be quite disappointed if he did. I didn't think he could stoop down so low. Or  _you_ would stoop down so low as to try to steal someone's boyfriend."

Sebastian gasped mockingly. "Oh, aren't you supposed to be the  _sunshine_ of your little group? And you dare say  _I_ stoop down so low? I really  _am_ offended. Don't know if I could ever cope with this  _monstrosity_." He smirked, "Oh, wait! I can."

Oh, come  _on._ He didn't need this right now. Why was he sticking around?  _Get out, get out, get out_ , he told himself. But nope, the more he told himself those words the more he just stepped closer.

"Sebastian Smythe -- Certain you've heard of me."

"Yes, in case you got amnesia, we've met." Daniel nodded sarcastically, "You still smell of Craigslist. And you still look like it, too!" He clapped mockingly, in a way Sebastian would be proud of. He was cold deep down, not that he would ever admit it.

Sebastian raised a brow, tilting his head as if to observe him. He squinted. "Ah, you've still got the babyface. Such a shame.  _Because_  I'm not attracted to you, you're clearly missing out. If you would've have better genetics --"

"Oh, would I satsify you? Quite nice." The sarcastic drawl escaped Daniel's lips without him not even realizing it. "Why are you here?"

"What's your name?"

"I asked first."

"Like I care." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Are you deaf, too? I mean, with those glasses, I don't see why you're not deaf. I would've liked you better if you were mute."

Daniel averted his eyes elsewhere, not meeting Sebastian's eyes. He wasn't offended -- He'd been told worse. He'd told  _himself_ worse. "And why exactly should I tell you that? After today, the only times I'll see you is --"

"Tell me or I will continue calling you babyface."

"Daniel Ramirez. My name is Daniel Ramirez. You are Sebastian Smythe and you're complicated." He said, eyes narrowed. " _Why_ are you here?"

Sebastian faux-pouted, tilting his head slightly. "You thought I would actually answer? I'm obviously here for Blaine,  _Daniel_." He said the name, once again, mockingly. Did all this boy know how to do was mock people? Most likely. Did Daniel mind being in his presence? Uh-huh. Was he going to say anything? Of course not. "And I heard about an . . . altercation between you and Froggy Lips, of course.  _Everyone_ heard about that."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "I told him what he needed to hear."

"Oh, of course you did, Pretty Boy and  _I_ didn't escape my mother's womb an asshole. That makes  _sense_. Absolutely." Sebastian nodded sarcastically, his arrogont smirk never leaving his lips, no matter how he spoke. "You really  _are_ a pretty boy." He took a few steps toward Daniel, bodies nearly touching.

Okay, no. No. No. No. And  _hell no_.

Daniel pushed Sebastian back. "I know, I have a mirror."

Sebastian chuckled. "And confident too. Interesting. So what are you doing around a whole bunch of misfits and a former stripper from Kentucky? If you were  _so_ confident, you wouldn't be around a whole bunch of juvenile miscreants."

"Do you satisfy yourself with being a bad person and insulting others?" Daniel scoffed, shaking his head. "You're a jackass."

"Oh, I don't know, babyface." Sebastian sighed dramatically, leaning against the piano. "I really  _am_ a good person. I just need someone to . . . sort me out. Teach me how to behave like a  _good little boy_." He flashed an even wider smirk, "So, who even  _is_ Froggy Lips and why are you so against him?"

Daniel waved it off. He'd rather not speak about Sam right now. Or ever. Eventually, maybe. He didn't hold a grudge or anything against him -- Daniel was just . . . He was complicated. "Some blond who came barging into the glee club last year and then again, this year." He answered, "We don't need him in the New Directions really. Finn just has a bias."

The other boy gasped another time. "New Directions? Think they can go without a member? You know, I am so disgusted with the way you think. How  _dare_ you go around saying you don't need a member. And here I thought, you all understood  _loyalty_."

Daniel scowled, fists clenched now, breathing deeply. "I didn't mean it  _that_ way. We've just always been a family in glee club and he came in and just --"

"Oh? But so did . . . So did Blaine, didn't he?" Sebastian blinked innocently. "Blaine, too,  _just_ joined this year. Froggy Lips must know much more about this little family of yours since he joined  _last year_. So, is Blaine really the one you're against?"

"What?!" Daniel shrieked. "No! Blaine is my  _friend_  --"

"And Sam  _isn't_?"

"Sam's different --"

"How so?" Sebastian smirked. "How is Blaine so different from everybody else? Don't tell me you're falling in love with him. Pride Float would be so upset and isn't he one of your best friends? Why would you do that to your  _best friend_?"

Daniel groaned, throwing his head back. "You are  _so_ frustrating!"

"The  _truth_ is frustrating?" Green eyes sparkled mischievously, shaking his head, pushing himself off the piano, leaning toward Daniel. "Just  _wait_ until they both hear about this." He whispered, lips brushing his ear before leaning up and walking away.

Oh, crap.

• • •

Singing a song about how you would always be there for someone and telling someone else that you didn't consider them family isn't exactly the best feeling in the world. How had Daniel even end up in this situation? No, he'd brought it upon himself -- Sebastian Smythe had nothing to do with it.

As he pulled Sugar in with the rest of the New Directions, he smiled brightly. She wasn't as bad as people thought and maybe Sam wasn't as bad as he thought. As he turned around and noticed Quinn and Sam, he nodded toward them with a brighter smile.

Things weren't going to be bad, he told himself. They were going to be okay. Things were going to be fine.

_So if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home. Tonight._


	2. Fragile World.

"You're not a bad person."

Daniel didn't know how he approached Sebastian at the Lima Bean, gripping tightly on his backpack strap. As if if he were to let it go, he would lose all the confidence he'd gained. Or maybe his hands were shaking because of the amount of coffee he'd drank. He didn't know why he was convinced Sebastian was the best person in the world when a  _week_ ago, he would've thrown him into a pack of wolves.

It wasn't because of the whole Sam thing either. If he wanted to destroy the New Directions or destroy Daniel, himself, he would've done it already. And he hadn't. It was because he saw the good in him that no one else did. And then he noticed  _everything_ about Sebastian --

The lilt to his voice that sounded like wild emphasis every now and then, the way his green eyes hid a bit of a sparkle when the sun hit his face from the window in front of their table, the deep circles under his eyes (practically giving off that Sebastian didn't get much sleep at night). He tilted his chin up every now and then to appear superior, but at the same time, he was tapping his index finger against his coffee cup -- clearly an anxious mannerism. And it was obvious he was hiding things. And the smirk on his lips nearly twitched into a smile whenever Daniel tried to insult him, but ended up smiling brightly, not even knowing why.

Sebastian was pale -- If he hadn't been wearing his blazer, Daniel would've noticed how evident the veins on his wrist were against his skin. He was silently shivering, as if not wanting Daniel to see, but he was too perceptive to not notice and it wasn't really cold with the heater on and besides, he was wearing his blazer and button-down long-sleeve underneath. He noticed that whenever he rambled, Sebastian would duck his head to hide a grin and shake his head.

It had only been fifteen minutes.

One tap against his coffee cup, Sebastian looked up with a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic grin as he took a -- literally a  _shot_. He'd spiked his coffee with  _Courvoisier_  with a flask he'd probably brought from home. "You don't know me."

Daniel shrugged. "No," He agreed. "But you're not as bad as you make yourself out to be. As you said, you need someone to sort you out and help you. I could help you. If you want me to, anyway! I wouldn't go all  _Incredible Hulk_ on you if you rejected the offer or anything, but I would be pretty upset because you know, I -- I really  _do_ want to help you and . . . yeah. . ."

Green eyes flickered down at Daniel's hand, which was gripping tightly on his coffee cup before hooking his ankle around Daniel's, almost teasingly as his smirk grew a bit wider to hold back a smile,at Daniel's little gasp, and at the rambling. "I don't need help -- I told you that for information. Blaine told me you were perceptive. Must've been lying."

"Oh, you  _wish_ he was lying. I read you like an open book the  _second_ we met." Daniel tilted his chin up this time as he took a drink of his own coffee -- Too much coffee for a 16-year-old old, if you asked him. It was his fault for staying up to study. He was a genius, but he didn't have an photographic memory.

Sebastian raised a brow, but didn't bother asking. He stayed quiet. Daniel pursed his lips. ". . .  _I'm your super friend_. . ." He sang under his breath, looking away and running his fingers through his hair. At the corner of his eye, he saw Sebastian shaking his head in annoyance with a mix of . . . intrigue, maybe.

"No. Please don't start singing."

Daniel pressed his lips together. ". . .  _At times like these when life is getting me down and the world seems like it's gonna end . . ._ " He paused to think of a word, " _. . . ship. There's at least one power that people still have and that's the power of . . ._ "

Sebastian blinked, shaking his head before replying in monotone, " _Friendship._ " He took a long drink of his spiked coffee, looking around as if to make sure no one was looking at them. Thankfully, it was almost empty.

The other boy let out a sigh. "That would be a  _great_  song."

"Wouldn't know. I'm not a dork, Toddler Hair." Sebastian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Okay, so you've made it pretty obvious that you're either a psychopath, perceptive, or just  _really_ need a social life. I gathered all of that from that song."

Daniel raised a brow and tilted his head before nodding with a bright smile and a nod. "I lack a social life, you are correct."

Sebastian winked playfully, "Of course I am, babyface."

. . .

"Original songs!"

"You're running out of ideas, William. We did this last year." Everyone turned to look at Daniel with almost a shocked look --  _He speaks?_ is what they were implying. His cheeks turned a deep red, "I mean -- That sounds good."

Mr. Schuester blinked before proceeding into the lesson -- "Original songs were what gave us the trophy at Regionals last year. The Warblers were amazing -- You're welcome, Kurt -- but they lacked the creativity that you all poured yourselves into."

"Two boys sung a duet! That's not lacking creativity! We sung about being lo -- "

"Thank you for being so outspoken today, Daniel." Mr. Schuester said in a dry tone that showed that he, indeed, did not like Daniel's outspoken. . .ness? "This time, we won't go for the cliche love song or the loser praise, as Daniel says. You will each write a song individually that describes the best  _or_ the worst parts of you."

Santana raised her hand. "I have that second verse of Trouty Mouth and since Sam is back, I was wondering if -- "

"No."

Daniel shook his head, laughing softly and mumbling a  _You tried_  to Santana, causing a punch to his shoulder. They were best friends. How else did they survive Lima Heights? They only had without getting knocked out because they had each other and everyone knew about Santana's other side --  _Snixx_  -- and mostly everyone was convinced Daniel had some anger issues. He didn't exactly  _live in_ Lima Heights. He lived close to it, but he had met Santana when he was seven and had just moved to Lima.

They were each other's little comfort zones.

Daniel raised his hand, "I'd like to go first!"

"No, no -- Daniel,  _I'm_ going first." Rachel Berry rose from her seat in a very sophisticated manner, wiping the invisible dirt off her navy blue dress. "The first performer  _always_ sets the precedent for everything and considering I  _did_ write the song that won us Regionals -- "

"And your ex-boyfriend wrote the song that cost us  _Nationals_ ," Daniel muttered. Only few heard, but they let out a few snickers. "Fine, then -- I'll go second. I've been working on a song and it's going to be great because  _I'm_ great."

When glee club was dismissed, Daniel approached Kurt, holding tightly onto his binder as he flashed a smile. "Okay, so, I completely lied. My random creative outbursts only happen once a month, I might need help. How 'bout you?"

Kurt raised a brow, an amused look on his face as he shook his head. "It's an individual assignment, Daniel. I can't help you with it."

"Oh, I wasn't asking for help, I don't need it. I just like sounding vulnerable because I turn out to be better than most people." Daniel smiled as if it was nothing. He was growing more confident this year -- Possibly the whole Sebastian Smythe of it all. Possibly the fact that he was tired of feeling invisible. Definitely the latter.

He never felt invisible to Kurt. He was in love with Kurt. Or had been. He couldn't tell anymore. As Kurt began dating Blaine, he'd slowly started falling  _out_ of love -- It wasn't done yet. He sometimes wondered if Kurt had ever felt the same. Maybe not  _love_ , but  _close_  to it. Not that it mattered, of course. It was high school -- Your life didn't depend on it.

Kurt cleared his throat. "Well, I, personally, believe that  _I_  am going to surpass expectations with this assignment." He smiled brightly -- a smile you didn't see very often from him, but when you did, you couldn't deny that it wasn't the most amazing thing in the world.

"Of course you are."

. . .

Having a melody in your head and not being able to come up with any lyrics wasn't exactly the best thing in the world. Coming up with  _lyrics_ was the assignment. It wasn't exactly  _Come up with with a melody and turn it in_ week. And he couldn't exactly ask any of the New Directions for help. And his mom and Jason were probably at McDonalds.

Daniel tapped his foot against the floor of his kitchen. When no one was around, he tended to sneak into the kitchen or the living room, tapping his pen to write some journal entries or small poems or lyrics. It made him feel a little less isolated. He tapped his pen against the table, the beat in his head making itself more evident.

Lyrics began forming as he began to write with a bright smile. His mechanical pencil scratched across the paper of his notebook as his eyebrows furrowed now in concentration of what he was writing. He skipped few lines for a new verse, forming small brackets; '[ Verse Two ]'.

When he finished, he looked up with a bright smile only to spot his little brother sitting across the table with a happy meal and a small coke -- Probably Sprite. He knew how much Jason hated actual Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper. Daniel smiled even brighter. Throughout everything, it had always been Jason who was there and it had always been Daniel who was there for Jason.

"Did you  _not_ bring me anything?"

Jason shook his head. "Nope!" When Daniel gasped in a dramatic way, the little boy let out a laugh before shoving a handful of fries into his mouth. "I'm kidding! Mom's bringing the groceries, she has  _your_ food."

Daniel raised a brow and hummed, closing his notebook and rising from his seat and walking outside, grabbing some Wal-Mart bags from his mom's hands. "Don't wanna go dropping the  _tortillas_  now, do you?" He chuckled gently.

Bianca Valdez let out a laugh and shook her head. "I have everything under control,  _carino_ , don't worry." And there went the agua de jamaica. When Daniel shot her a knowing look, she sighed. "Okay, Daniel, just help me this once."

"Don't feel guilty, please -- Just ask for help whenever."

"But --"

"No  _buts_." Daniel shook his head as he grabbed the remaining grocery bags in one hand and the bag of McDonalds that was, indeed, his -- Jason hadn't been lying about that -- and walked inside, Bianca trailing behind him. "Is Eddie coming for Christmas-slash-Hanukkah dinner?"

"Do you want him to?" He could hear the bright smile in her tone. She and Eddie were best friends -- He was their next-door neighbor and had drifted a bit when she'd started drinking, but they were getting better now. She'd been in love with him for years, but denied it whenever Daniel asked.

"I want him to!" Jason exclaimed as Daniel put the grocery bags and the McDonalds bag in the kitchen. "He can, like, I don't know, make the ham --"

"We're  _Kosher_ , Jason." Daniel shook his head, "You've known this for years."

"Hey! Things change, Danny. My taste in food is slowly changing and I want ham. Everyone eats ham for Christmas! Why can we celebrate Christmas, but not eat  _ham_? It's unfair -- Isn't it unfair, Mom? We can't even eat  _burgers_!"

Bianca placed her hands on her hips with an amused chuckle as Daniel took a sip of his Sprite. " _Those magic changes, my heart arranges . . ._ " He sang teasingly. "So you want to eat ham for Christmas-slash-Hanukkah? Let me guess, you want to eat pork  _tamales_? Mom used to make the  _best_ pollo con queso ones when I was your age. You should make them again this year."

"Oh! Mom, yes! You have to, I want to try them -- Why didn't you both ever tell me this?!" Jason groaned dramatically. "You two never tell me anything, you treat me like I'm five."

"Three years ago, you _were_ five, shush it." Daniel said, throwing a chicken nugget at Jason who gasped when it hit his cheek.

Bianca shook her head in disbelief. "If you two even  _dare_ throw your food at each other again, I will get the  _chancla_ ,  _niños chiflados_." Her smile expressed that she was joking, but that she was also serious. "Help me put the groceries away, Daniel, eat faster.  _No tienes novia, apurate, niño huevón_."

Daniel gasped. "How rude. I'm not lazy, I just eat slow. See?" He emphasized his point by slowly raising a nugget to his mouth, biting into it and chewing even slower. "See? Slow eater." He whispered slowly before feeling a hand against his head. "Ow! Mom!"

"Oh? I'm sorry." Bianca shrugged.

Daniel's jaw dropped before turning to Jason. "Do you see how our mother is? Do you  _see_ how she is? She is the meanest, most rotten mom in the whole entire world. I, personally, would like to run away -- Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom, ow!" The sharp pain in his right ear didn't go away until his mom pulled her hand away and he scoffed, rubbing his ear. "That hurt even more."

"Help me with the groceries."

"No."

" _Daniel Armando Ramirez_!"

Daniel shook his head at his mother with a scoff, That's not even my middle name! I don't even  _have_ a middle name!"

"It sounds more dramatic." Jason shrugged, causing Daniel to lean over and smack the side of his head and Jason let out a sharp squeal, smacking Daniel's hand.

Maybe things weren't so bad anymore.

. . .

_I've come too far under the stars, I'm ready to feel. The uneasy pain, mysterious ways, I'll never reveal. Oh, the burden that I face inside every night. I'm a stranger when I wake, wake up in your eyes._

Daniel looked up from the keyboard and the microphone, pressing a beat on the music pad and meeting Kurt's eyes, who gave him an encouraging smile. He bit his lip gently and continued singing.

Things were slowly changing for the better. Whether it was something as simple as his feelings for his best friend, or whether it was his confidence that was slowly growing more by the second, even if he was bright red as he sung at the people staring at him and even if his heart was pounding out of his chest. Didn't all performers get nervous?

Even as he grew confident, he couldn't help but feel like sometimes he didn't belong in this room. Everyone had something unique about them, but Daniel was just . . . average, right? What did  _he_ have to bring to the New Directions? Probably a lot, but he tended to underestimate himself.

As he slowly looked up again and finished singing, his smile grew a bit as everyone began to applaud. He nodded at them and pressed his lips together. They were all a family, right? Things were completely fine within this year. Well, except for the nearly killing part daily.

But still. A family.

 


	3. Santa Baby.

"Daniel!"

Hearing your name being called out by Finn Hudson after you called him out for ruining everyone's chances at Nationals the year before wasn't exactly the ideal situation he planned on being in. Mostly because he was 6'3 and built like a horse and Daniel was 5'10. . . Thank God he took boxing classes, right?

He was fond of Tina and Finn's relationship. Envious, too, really. Although he swore off dating, it wasn't like he didn't want someone to hold him in their arms and kiss him and all of that stuff. It wasn't going to be serious, of course. Never  _too_ serious, even if he wanted it to be. But the thought was nice.

Daniel turned to Finn with a smile. "Is this your subtle way of asking for advice as to what to get Tina for Christmas?" He tilted his head and raised a brow. At the other boy's questioning look, he chuckled softly. "It's written all over your face."

Finn's fingertips grazed his own cheek as if saying,  _It is?_ He shook it off and lowered his hand. "Well, yeah, I mean -- I need  _a little_ bit of help. I don't know if I'm dating Kim Kardashian or no -- "

He put a hand up, shaking his head. "You cannot refer to your girlfriend as a Kardashian. It's genuinely just . . . messed up. You just have to think about, like. . . You know, her interests and whether or not she would like your gift. I'm one-hundred percent sure she'll love anything you give her. Tina's like that." He paused. "I recommend; nothing too big, but it seems big. Nothing too expensive, but looks expensive. All about the thought, not the money, but put a lot of money in it."

Finn blinked. "Can you repeat that? I kind of only got half of it." He muttered.

Daniel raised a brow before letting out a sigh. "Okay, Santana and I will go to Zales with you because God forbid, you pick an elephant brooch or something. Animal brooches are reserved for  _Kurt_ , not for Tina." He patted Finn's arm awkwardly before walking away toward the choir room.

. . .

"I hate the stench of public schools."

Daniel jumped as he was organizing sheet music on top of the piano before turning around to face Sebastian. Probably here for Blaine, probably here to taunt the school. He was never sure anymore. He was just sure that he probably would've died if Sebastian had been a serial killer. " _Warn_ me before you talk! God."

Sebastian chuckled dryly, a small smirk on his face. "There's no fun in that. Maybe I like seeing boys with babyfaces and toddler hair to match that babyface jumping up like children. Makes me feel like I'm Santa Claus and they just walked in on me pinning their fathers against a --"

"Okay, okay, enough." Daniel raised a hand with a small, forced smile. "Why are you here exactly? Not that I mind, I'm just curious because don't you have a glee club to lead?" He lowered his hand, shoving it into his jacket pocket.

"If you had less of a babyface and more of a personality, I would say I'm here for you. Incidentally, I'm here for Blaine." Sebastian drawled. "And what are  _you_ doing here? Don't tell me your glee club director makes you become a janitor after the practices of your  _little club_."

Daniel held back an eyeroll. "Uh, no. I'm just being nice. Surely, according to you, nice isn't exactly in your repertoire, is it?" He turned back, fixing up the sheet music for  _Let It Snow_ and  _Christmas Wrapping_ , all for the whole  _Christmas Special Spectacular_  or whatever. He wasn't participating -- He wanted to spend time with Jason and his mom this time around. "Blaine is with Kurt or doing some boxing stuff. I don't know."

He could practically hear the smirk in Sebastian tone as he spoke, "Boxing stuff? As  _sexy_  as that sounds. . ." He trailed off, "I can't help but stick around with you a bit just to show that I'm being  _nice_ enough to grace you with my presence."

"Just as long as you won't be a supposèd filthy jackass as I organize this sheet music, you can stay." Daniel muttered, organizing the sheet music arranged for Rachel for  _My Favorite Things_. "But if you need to go looking for Blaine, go ahead."

"Filthy jackass? Oh, babyface, it's not like you're too clean either."

At that, Daniel spun on the heels of his converse, hitting his hip on the piano, biting his lip to suppress the soft little whimper of pain that was fighting to make its way out his lips. "I'm not filthy."

Sebastian raised a brow. "Ah, please, something tells me that despite your whole amusing boy-next-door do-no-wrong facade you put on and all of your protesting, you really aren't as clean as the almighty Lord Jesus Christ or whatever."

"I'm Jewish."

"You're deflecting."

"There's nothing to deflect about."

Sebastian shook his head. Okay, so this wasn't going as well as Daniel wanted it to, but this was kind of fun. . . In some weird way. . . Right? Yay! "You  _really_ want to keep up the crap and pretend you're some angel sent down by God, himself, to bring light to gay-faced countertenors and loud girls with misaligned noses?"

Daniel frowned slightly. "I don't think I'm an  _angel_ , I just think I'm a naturally good person. There's nothing you can do to stop it or anything because, as I recall, I'm awesome." He shrugged. Sebastian was definitely as perceptive as he was and as a closet-case, the thought of it ( _literally_ ) coming out was kind of scary. Although, he would never say anything -- Sebastian understood the struggles of being in the LGBT+ community.

"Now, who said anything about stopping it?" Sebastian murmured, his voice more in a breath whisper than the way a normal person would speak as he leaned in closer to Daniel, his lips curving into a small smirk, arching his eyebrows delicately.

Pressing his lips together, Daniel turned a bright red. He should've stepped away, but he didn't  _want_ to. "Why are you here again? For -- For Blaine, right? You should . . . You should totally go and . . . You know, go find him." He stammered out with a forced out chuckle, showing how flustered he was.

It seemed as if Sebastian didn't understand the meaning of  _personal space_ as he stepped forward, only an inch away from touching Daniel. "I would, but this is  _far_ more interesting than Blaine Anderson, don't you think? Or are you one of those  _cliche straight boys_? No, you aren't . . . are you?" He spoke the last two words, teasingly into Daniel's ear.

Daniel blinked. "There's such thing as a cliche straight boy?"

Two words: "Finn Hudson."

"Oh. True." He nodded before clearing his throat. "Have you heard that personal space is good for the mind and soul? I mean, I know it's unusual, but yes, yes -- Personal space is  _very_ good for both of those things. I mean, I strongly believe it."

Rambling was something Daniel tended to do whenever things tended to get too serious. He thought that maybe it would push people away, but all it seemed to be doing was pulling Sebastian closer. And okay, maybe he liked this more than he was supposed to.

"Personal space also keeps you from admitting you're attracted to me, does it not?" Sebastian teased, smirk widening as their bodies brushed this time.

"What? No!" Daniel whisper-shouted. The doors were closed and everything, but still -- People were nosy at this school and probably wanted to hear  _everything_ that went on. Thankfully, the school was nearly empty, except for the glee kids in the auditorium, practicing for the Christmas special. "I'm not attracted to you."

Sebastian looked Daniel up and down before finally meeting his eyes, fingers gently curling around Daniel's wrist. Not tightly, it was more of a caress than anything else and Daniel appreciated the gentleness. What? It wasn't his fault everything about Sebastian screamed  _Walking sex up ahead!_ Even his voice. Ugh, God. "Maybe you're not. But it doesn't take Einstein to see you aren't exactly fleeing the room in disgust right now."

"Why would I flee the room in disgust? I'm not homophobic." was Daniel's response at first before continuing, "Besides, I told you. I'm a naturally good person. I'm not going to walk away in the middle of our conversation." He didn't  _want_ to. He  _should_  leave before things got too serious and before he started to feel something . . .

No. Never happening.

Sebastian hummed, more of in disbelief than taking in his words. He leaned forward, gently grazing his nose along Daniel's jawline. "Our very quiet,  _very intimate_ conversation, right?"

Daniel bit his lip gently, shutting his eyes as if hoping this were some dream and his stomach hadn't just flipped -- When he opened them, he was indeed not dreaming. "Okay, why exactly are you doing this? What do you want? I mean, I know you want Blaine, but I'm not exactly Blaine and -- "

"You."

He nearly choked on air.  _Nearly_. He managed to hold back his . . . choking. . . which sounds really wrong, but it really isn't. "Oh. Okay. That's -- That's pretty cool. . . I think. Yes. Totally -- Totally cool. Like -- Like, yeah. Amazing. Awesome. Lots of people, they like . . . want me . . ." He trailed off awkwardly.

Daniel turned a bright red as Sebastian trailed his lips along his jawline carefully. "Has a boy ever kissed you before?"

His blush grew brighter, heart pounding. He hoped it wasn't too audible as he shook his head. "No. . ." He spoke softly. "Why?" There was that one time during kindergarten, but it wasn't like Daniel remembered that very well. It didn't really count either -- It was  _kindergarten_.

Lips traveling slowly down Daniel's throat, Sebastian's teeth scraped against his skin -- hesitating mostly. "Because if you don't stop me here, a boy may kiss you soon."

Daniel didn't know how Sebastian felt about this whole thing. He didn't know if it was just taunting or actual affection or whatever. He just knew how he felt about it and how he hoped that this wouldn't just be something that would eventually drive them away from each other. He liked being Sebastian's friend.

He managed to choke out a small, "Oh --"

Sebastian nuzzled his face softly in the crook of Daniel's neck, taking a subtle deep breath. "You smell nice. Not like the reeking odor of public school I usually sniff out around here." He spoke quietly, peppering a few more kisses along Daniel's neck. "Go on. Stop me. You want to act straight? This isn't heterosexual in the slightest, babyface."

Daniel didn't say anything for a moment. "Is this a way of trying to get me out of the closet or something?" He finally asked softly, his blush still evident on his cheeks.

"No." Sebastian spoke very, very quiet as he said this, lips moving back up to Daniel's lips slowly. "I wouldn't do that to you. Or anyone. Especially not you though. Why aren't you pulling away? Anybody who goes to this school and doesn't know what's good for them would have already. You should pull away."

"Oh." Daniel said softly as he shivered subconsciously at the feel of Sebastian's lips on his neck, breath hitching slightly. "I don't know why I can't pull away. I think I . . . like this, or something. I don't know."

"You  _think_?" He asked with his usual smirk crossing his lips. "Not good enough for me. You either like this or you  _don't_. If there was an in-between, you would've pulled away."

Daniel let out a soft sigh. "Fine. I like it more than I should and that's all I'm saying because if I say more, I'll start to ramble and become Simon Lewis -- I won't end up calling you stupid though because you know, I'm not in love with you and Simon called Clary stupid because she was so oblivious and --"

"You talk too much." Sebastian mused, lips trailing up to pepper kisses along Daniel's jaw and chin, before hesitating near his lips. He was almost too hesitant to ask, Daniel noticed. "Do you want us to kiss?"

Daniel's breath caught in his throat before managing to nod. "Sure. I mean, if you want to because I want to, but I mean, you never know if --"

Everything seemed to fade as Sebastian leaned in and captured Daniel's lips with his own softly, brushing his fingers against his warm, red cheek softly. The breath in Daniel's throat seemed to form a soft little sigh of contentment as the taste of coffee with courvoisier and mint mixed in with his own taste of homemade hot chocolate with cinammon.

The kiss was soft. It was hesitant, the same way a first kiss would be, but it wasn't Sebastian's. It was Daniel's  _real_ first kiss, so it felt like a first kiss. Kissing was instinctive, Daniel realized as he tilted his head, hand hesitantly trailing up Sebastian's shoulder. It lasted a few more seconds before they both pulled away reluctantly -- both blushing messes.

Sebastian cleared his throat as he took a small step back and let out a breathless laugh. "Uh, so it seems I've learned a lot about the competition. . . since I was sent out here to spy." He paused and waved it off, "I don't do what I'm told."

Daniel pressed his lips together and chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. What did one do after their first kiss? ". . .  _I'm your super friend_. . ." He tried with a grin.

The other boy's green eyes lit up a bit as he laughed, shaking his head. "You're a little dork, you know that, babyface?"

"Babyface is getting  _really_ old, you know?" Daniel laughed lightly and shook his head. "I mean, I like Toddler Hair, but babyface,  _really_?" This was nice -- He liked feeling like there was no need to be worried about everything, like he could be a teenager without the feeling of someone dragging him down. He loved taking care of Jason, it was instinct now, but taking care of a child when you were only ten until you were sixteen was a huge weight on your shoulders.

"And what would you prefer to be called, sweets?" Sebastian raised a brow.

 _Sweets_ , that was new, Daniel realized as he shrugged. " _Anything_  but babyface, please."

. . .

Bringing Sebastian along to the mall with Santana and Finn wasn't exactly the best thing in the world, but Daniel used the good ole',  _I'll tell Tina about your browser history_ excuse Kurt tended to use and that shut Finn up. Of course, all three of them were complaining about each other's presence.

 _Santana will end up buying her laryngitis or lingerie or whatever!_ , Finn had yelled at one point.

 _Oh, my God! I am sitting next to a_ _complete idiot_ _. This is why I don't attend public schools,_ Sebastian had replied.

_ Why _ _did you bring me along with Frankenteen and his richer, less attractive, chipmunk-looking Disney prince twin? This is so unfair, Daniel._

This ended with Daniel just turning on his music, earplugs on and the music possibly making his deaf. Hey, at least the last thing he would've ended up hearing was Michael Buble's  _Cold December Night_. It was a depressing song, but someone had to listen to it and it was the only option. The next would've been making Finn, who was driving, swerve into a car, killing the four of them.

When they got out of Finn's truck, Santana pulled Daniel by the arm, pulling him back to interlock their arms together, flashing him a fake smile. "Why did you invite him? Not that I have anything against the Alvin and the  Chipmunks Wannabe. In fact, I might even grow to  _respect_ him a little bit -- Not  _like_  because  _no,_ never happening -- but I mean, who knows? Why did you invite him and no lying. I know you and I know when you're lying."

Daniel shrugged lightly. "I have nothing to hide. Sebastian and I are friends."

Santana blinked before realization sunk in and she gasped. "Oh my  _God_ , Daniel! You two did not do the  _dirty_ , did you? Was it close to it?  _Ay dios mio_ , Daniel Ramirez, what am I going to do with you? I've always known you were half-gay, I mean if I recall,  _you_ broke up with  _me_  --"

"Uh,  _you_ broke up with  _me_." Daniel scoffed, shaking his head.

"No, no, I remember you going off on a ramble about how you couldn't date and how I was too hot for you to handle and blah, blah, blah --" Santana trailed off teasingly with a laugh, shaking her head. "Well, since he might eventually become my brother-in-law, I have to respect --"

"You're such a dork."

"Ah-ha! But I'm  _your_ dork." Santana laughed again, letting go of Daniel and rushing toward Sebastian, locking  _their_  arms together now as they walked inside.

Daniel and Finn trailed behind them, but Daniel didn't speak, too caught up on listening to the Christmas music blasting on his earplugs. As they arrived at Zales, Daniel shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and began to look around. He couldn't help but want to buy at least one thing for his mom -- Not that he could afford it anyway. Eddie could easily -- Cough, what? Not an engagement ring, nooo, what?

Sebastian was commenting every now and then about a piece of jewelry Finn would pick  _\--_ Something along the lines of,  _This is why you can't keep a decent girlfriend_.

When Daniel heard his name being called bu Santana, he walked toward them with a bright smile. "Can you guys afford this? I mean, I know you're rich, Sebastian, but what kind of person carries this amount of cash on them?" He asked, looking down at the amount of the necklace Finn had explained he wanted to get for Tina. And it was perfect for her.

Daniel noticed Santana and Sebastian share a knowing look as Santana grabbed Daniel's phone from him, typing away before placing it on the counter, a familiar song playing away.  _This is the last time I'll ever do anything like this,_ Sebastian's eyes said as he shook his head.

" _Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me. I've been an awful good girl. Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight_." Santana began with a small smirk.

Daniel hid his face in his hands when Sebastian began to sing the second verse, shaking his head, like  _I can't believe this is really happening. Oh God, oh God, we're gonna get arrested and we're gonna die in jail and I know I want to die sometimes, but come on, God, don't do this to me now._

When the performance finished, Daniel finally looked up. "We're not getting arrested, right?" He asked Santana, who shook her head.

"Okay, good. That's awesome."

 


	4. Just For Now.

Daniel Ramirez would never forget the first Parent-Teacher meet after everything fell apart. That sounded awfully depressing, but he'd been quite a cheeful 11-year-old for someone's whose dad left a month before his birthday. Instead of taking it in a bad way, he took a potato to school and said,  _This is my papa_.

Everyone laughed and it was the first time he'd smiled a real smile since December 21st. They hadn't even celebrated Hanukkah or Christmas that year. Or New Years. Or anything. And it continued for years. But everything seemed to be coming full circle nowadays.

Sometimes it was overwhelming, finally getting what you've always wanted. A good family, actual food on the table, not wearing the same hoodie and the same pair of converse everyday. At other times, knowing that your brother should've been raised in a good environment was emotionally draining. And most of the times, it was just happiness. Happiness at the way life was going.

Everything was perfect.

Almost  _too_ perfect. Almost too good to be true. Now that he had everything, he was terrified of losing it. He was terrified of everything going wrong again and not even expecting it. At least before, he had gotten small clues that everything was going to fall. He would be blindsided this time.

 _You look worried_.

Daniel looked up from the text, catching Eddie's, who was raising a brow. He looked back down,  _Why are you texting me? You're, like, fifty and not supposed to be using technology. . . And I'm perfectly fine. Just thinking, hmph._ Then at the sound of his mother's shoes, he swiftly tucked his phone under his legs. "Merry Christmas!"

" _Feliz Navidad, cariño._ " Bianca smiled as she leaned down to press a kiss on Daniel's cheek as he leaned up to give her a higher chance of actually kissing his cheek and not missing it. She looked up, meeting Eddie's eyes and smiled brightly. " _Feliz Navidad,_ Eddie."

Daniel slowly stood up with a small smile. "I'm gonna go check on Jason. Go on and catch up." He rushed out of the kitchen, sitting at the staircase to listen in on Bianca and Eddie's conversation. He looked back when he heard Jason's footsteps, spotting his bright smile. They'd spent all summer eavesdropping on their mother and Eddie's conversations -- Not in a stalker way.

"Oh my God, they're hugging!" Jason whisper-shouted, gripping tightly on Daniel's shoulder.

All they really wanted was a father and for their mother to be happy. Through the years, Eddie had managed to be there some days. He worked at the Lima Police Department, so he worked overtime sometimes, but even then, he was there and their actual father wasn't, so it was a step up.

Daniel wanted his mother to fall in love again. High school relationships didn't work out -- That was why he hadn't even bothered to get in one. He was a junior, he should've had many relationships by now, but all that was in his record was a kiss in Kindergarten, a one-week relationship with Santana Lopez in sixth grade and his kiss with Sebastian a week ago.

He had promised himself -- No relationships before or during college. His parents didn't work out and they had gotten together their junior year. It didn't work out. It never did. But he knew that his mom and Eddie would. They'd been in love for far too long -- before they even realized it. They hadn't even realized it right now.

Daniel turned to look at Jason and let out a sigh, shaking his head. "They're hopeless. They're so  _hopeless_." He pressed his lips together, "Don't worry. Give it a year."

Jason deserved a father figure -- someone who wasn't a messed up soon-to-be 17-year-old who had his own problems to worry about. Someone who would have time for him after Daniel went off to college. He just wanted his little brother to be  _happy_.

The boy looked up at his older brother with a small smile. "You really think so?" He asked, tone quiet, yet still excited. "You really think they'll end up together?"

Daniel nodded. "The best people always do."

. . .

" _Pasa los tamales, por favor, niño_."

"What did she say?"

Daniel raised a brow at Sebastian before letting out a small laugh and passing the tamales de pollo y queso to his aunt. Inviting Sebastian to Christmas dinner was kind of . . . impulsive. Well, he hadn't even invited him. He'd invited himself. Not that he minded. It was nice having another teenager around.

Christmas in the Ramirez house had never quite been this hectic. Not since Daniel was ten, so this was a nice change. Sophia Valdez and her mother had decided to come over, which was a good change, considering the fact that he hadn't seen them in so long.

It didn't stop Sophia from glancing down at Sebastian and Daniel's feet, as if expecting them to be playing footsie. They had not been playing footsie, Daniel reassured Sophia via text, but that had only caused their mother to shout at them for using their phones and that only made them have dishes after dinner was over.

"So, did you get me a present?" Sophia asked in the kitchen after everyone finished eating. She pouted when Daniel shook his head and laughed softly. "That's not fair. Who's the boy?" She nodded toward Sebastian, who was having a conversation with Jason and Eddie with a bright smile -- a smile Daniel hadn't seen much.

"Oh. He's -- He's no one." Daniel shook his head as he scraped off some leftover food on the plate onto a  _sartén_ \-- a pan. "Just some guy I met at school. We're in rivaling glee clubs, all that. It's nothing. He likes someone."

Sophia raised a brow. "Uh-huh. Of course he likes someone." She nodded sarcastically. "What's the story between you two -- Hand me the towel -- and why did you invite him if he's no one? And besides, it sure seemed like nothing, you stupid  _pendejo._ "

Daniel splashed her with water, shaking his head. "I didn't invite him, he invited himself. And he nearly murdered us, too, just so you know. Literally, almost killed us. Got me in the car, almost crashed into Kurt Hummel's car and he doesn't even know how to drive! Did he get his driver's license in the back of a gay ba -- Oh,  _shit_!"

He heard a laugh behind him -- the voice of the same person who'd nearly killed him  _and_ who wrapped his arms around his waist, tugging him backwards and closer. "Oh, come on, sweets. Don't be so scared."

Sophia raised a brow, waving a spoon in the air, pointing at Daniel with it. "It's  _nothing_ , huh? Sure seems like nothing. Hi, No One. I'm Sophia, Daniel's cousin. The one who was sitting in front of you at dinner. You really should work on your Spanish."

" _Inutile de travailler mon espagnol quand je vivais à Paris depuis quelques années. Vous apprendrez que le français est plus facile à apprendre que votre langue maternelle_."

Daniel turned around at the sound of Sebastian's French, his eyes widened. "What the fu -- " He blinked, only causing the other boy to smirk lightly and his cousin's eyes widened slightly. "I didn't know you knew French."

Sebastian laughed softly before pressing a sloppy kiss to Daniel's cheek and whispering in his ear, " _Il y a beaucoup de choses que tu ne sais pas sur moi, baby face_."

The shorter boy let out a slight laugh and nodded. "Right. Well, whatever that means -- it doesn't sound too pretty." He let out a breath before squirming out of Sebastian's grasp reluctantly. "I have to do these dishes.  _Then_  maybe you can speak french to me."

"Kinky," whispered Sophia.

"Shut up!" Daniel turned to Sebastian again, "Go with Jason. I have to deal with this immature 21-year-old."

"You ruin all my fun, sweets." Sebastian gave a faux-pout before crossing his arms and walking out of the kitchen, combat boots clicking their way to the living room.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

There was  _something_ and Daniel hated that there was because there wasn't supposed to be anything. They rarely knew each other, so why did it feel like they'd known each other for so long. There was  _nothing_. He was lying to himself when he said nothing was there and he knew it.

He'd never been scared of things. Minor things that everyone was scared of, sure. Spiders, sharks, death, blood, getting kidnapped -- All logical things to be scared of, but relationships weren't supposed to be scary. They were supposed to be natural. And he would be lying to himself, too, if he told himself that Sebastian wanted anything serious.

Things just didn't work out for Daniel, so why would he try this? There was no point when he would eventually ruin it. He wouldn't want to, but it would happen -- He had always been very self-destructive even when it wasn't intended.

It was Christmas. He shouldn't be worried about this. How did that song go?  _Leave all of our hopelessnesses aside just for a little while. Tears stop right here, I know we've all had a bumpy ride._ He was Jewish, but the rest of his family were Catholic, so they just celebrated both. So if there was two celebrations, might as well just stop overthinking everything.

He heard Sophia let out a deep breath as he handed her the last plate to dry. She dried and then she grabbed her hand, pulling him into the living room. "Come on. It's almost midnight. Take Jason up to his room."

Daniel let out a soft laugh before pausing when he saw Jason laying his head on top of Sebastian's lap, eyes shut. He bit his lip gently as he walked toward them after letting go of Sophia's hand and smiled softly. "You put him to sleep?" He whispered lightly.

Sebastian shrugged. "I wouldn't say  _put him to sleep_. Here I was, just reading him  _Frosty The Snowman_ and I'm assuming he was tired or he just got bored of my voice." He whispered back.

"It's his favorite," Daniel explained. He nudged Jason softly, making sure not to wake him aggressively. When he didn't wake, he let out a soft breath and picked him up gently in his arms and turned to Sebastian. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

When Daniel was halfway upstairs, he heard a small whisper from the boy in his arms. "Keep him, he's really nice. He let me have two cookies." Letting out a choked laugh, the taller boy shook his head, biting his lip before whispered  _Go back to sleep._

Once they reached Jason's room and Daniel tucked him in, the latter let out a small noise -- almost like one of happiness, something he hadn't genuinely felt in  _so long_. Things really were changing. He knew that much.

"Hey, kid, can I talk to you?"

He turned to face Eddie with a small smile. "Hey," He spoke lightly. "How are you? We haven't really spoken tonight. You were with my mom most of the night, which is totally fine by me, by the way. And if you ever want to take her on a date -- "

Eddie laughed softly. "Uh, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." He looked around before pulling him into a vacant room. God, why were people pulling him everywhere today? When Daniel gestured for Eddie to continue, he let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, okay, so -- Well, you know that your mother is gorgeous and I would never want to do anything that would ruin this family or your mother and I's friendship, so I was just wondering if it was okay for me to take her out sometime?"

"Oh, God, please do." Daniel let out a breath of relief. "Ever since summer, she hasn't left the house for a date or anything and besides, you and her is definitely a go. Take her out to dinner, two dinners, a whole month of dinners, just get her  _out_ of the house, please."

Eddie raised a brow. "So you don't mind?"

"You didn't need to ask me in the first place."

"Oh."

"Yeah,  _oh_." Daniel laughed. "Seriously, though, take her to your place tonight. Make sure to bring her back early though. Jason wants his presents as soon as possible."

He truly didn't mind. His mother needed to get out of the house. Sure, he loved the fact that she was actually here now, but he could also see how draining it was to be so full of guilt about taking care of two kids you abandoned. Daniel didn't blame her for anything that happened. She'd been through too much in so little time. It was natural to break.

And it was possible to be fixed.

There was a moment of silence.

"You're going to help her," Daniel spoke up. "A lot. You know what she's been through. I just want her to be happy and you make her happy and you always have. I think you always will." He paused. "Don't screw it up. She's the best thing that'll ever happen to you."

. . .

After everyone (including his mom and Eddie) left, Daniel sat down on the couch next to Sebastian dramatically. It had been far too long since he could just sit down and relax and drink hot chocolate and watch  _The Polar Express_. And there were no words to be spoken when, just glances, that made Sebastian stay overnight.

Besides, it was too quiet in the house with Jason asleep and his mother next door. And sometimes -- you just needed a friend around. And that was all they were. Friends. Nothing more, nothing less. There was nothing Daniel could do about the quiet of the house, not even with Sebastian there and the Hero making his way to the train.

"So, what do you think of the movie?" Try to make conversation. First step to ease awkwardness. Or maybe that was the first step to awkwardness in general. Oh crap, he was going to mess everything --

"It's a good movie." Sebastian nodded.

"Yep."

Green eyes met Daniel's brown ones as Sebastian hummed lightly. "Why are you so awkward? Is it because we're alone? We've been alone before. Plenty of times. Well, twice."

Daniel nodded. "Mhm," He let out a breath. "I'm sorry. I've never had anyone over. Except for Kurt that one time, but that was just for a Spanish project and it wasn't like there was anything wrong with it being a Spanish project, but also because it  _was_ very, very awkward because I start to ramble for the dumbest reasons and then I can't stop, like are you listening to me right now? That's how bad it -- "

"I'm getting a migraine."

"Right. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, sweets."

"Sorry."

"There you go again."

Daniel cleared his throat before looking over at Sebastian again. He noticed the way he couldn't seem to look away from the movie, as if he were remembering something from his past. Maybe they knew -- Oh, that was a funny joke. Cue the record scratch like in those animated movies.

You know, where they go,  _You might be wondering how I ended up here._

"You're staring at me and it's creepy."

"You didn't even look up! How do you know I'm staring at you?"

"I can literally  _feel_ your eyes on me." Sebastian turned to look at Daniel, crossing his legs like a five-year-old on one of those carpets where the teachers got in the middle and started to read  _The Cat in the Hat._ "Why are you looking at me so intensely? Already falling in love? Already  _fallen_ in love?"

Daniel shook his head. "No, it's not that. I don't know why." He shrugged lightly. "As I said, I haven't had people over in a long time. This is kind of new and I feel like if I stop, you'll go away." 

Sebastian raised a brow. "And as much as I love your dramatic sentiment, you think I'll go anywhere when I'm half-asleep and watching  _The Polar Express_? As if I'll pass up an opportunity to sing  _Where Are You Christmas?_ "

"That's  _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_."

"There's literally no difference between the two."

Daniel hummed teasingly. "You're playing dumb. You know your Christmas movies. Must I remind you of the music we were listening to in your car before you nearly murdered the both of us."

"Oh, sweets, that was for dramatic effect."

Sure, it was.

"Don't look at me like that," Sebastian warned. "Ramirez, I swear, stop it. You know nothing!" At Daniel's teasing raise of an eyebrow and sarcastic nod, Sebastian leaped over to Daniel's couch, causing him to let out a loud laugh. "Stop."

Daniel blinked up at him innocently once he stopped laughing. "I'm not doing anything. I mean, you're hella agnostic, right? Why would you listen to Christmas songs on repeat over and over again."

Sebastian ran his fingers up and down Daniel's sides, causing him to laugh even louder, trying to squirm out of Sebastian's hold on him. "I don't do that. I know certain Christmas songs, not all of them. Admit it."

"But -- But why -- This is -- Oh, my God! You're killing me! Stop it!" Daniel's managed to choke out in between laughs. This was the most fun he'd had in ages, which okay, pretty sad. Getting  _tickled_ was the most fun? He was so boring.

"Say it."

"Fine! Fine! You only know all of the Christmas carols, but not the movies!"

Sebastian let out a breathless laugh before getting off of Daniel and taking his seat back on the other couch and nodding. "There you go."

"But you have to admit, you  _do_  know all of the songs to Kelly Clarkson's  _Wrapped in Red_ album."

" _Sweets_!"

Once they both finally calmed down and the movie started playing in peace, Sebastian turned to look at Daniel again and raised a brow. "I have to admit that while listening to you minimize your importance was amusing the first time around, I've been thinking plenty and I think you should transfer to Dalton."

Daniel furrowed his eyebrows. " _Dalton_? As if I have enough money to transfer there? Not even Kurt had enough money, they had to use his parents' honeymoon money for it."

Sebastian shrugged lightly. "You're smart. Genius, even. They'll give you a scholarship fair and square. Or anonymous money will be donated -- anonymous being my state attorney of a father -- and you'll go. Simple. You have an easy spot on the Warblers, too."

There wasn't much to do in the New Directions, was there? Not for Daniel, at least. Play instruments, sing background, awe the crowd with his  _ooh_ s and his  _ahh_ s. Maybe Dalton would -- No. Maybe . . . No. Okay, maybe though --  _No._

He let out a breath. "Really?"

"As I said, you minimizing your importance used to be amusing, but now it's literally annoying and my migraine is increasing. I actually feel like I have a brain tumor. It's a yes, no, or a maybe. Not a  _Really_?."

The determination to get Daniel to transfer was almost sinking in. He didn't know why Sebastian had even considered the fact that he would try to get his dad to ' donate ' or convince Daniel to ask for a scholarship. It was weird.

Letting out a soft sigh, Daniel tilted his head. "It's a maybe, okay? Now let's watch this movie for my childhood nostalgia. And come over here, it's cold."

Nearly hesitating, Sebastian walked over over to the couch Daniel was sitting on before curling up behind him, wrapping his arms around the shorter boy's waist and pulling him closer.

 _Ignore the pounding of your hearts_ , Daniel told himself.  _It's nothing. It's nothing. There's nothing._

 


	5. For Forever.

Sometimes when you're jealous of someone, you don't realize it.

Something just sparks in your chest and you think it's hate, or dislike and you act on it by either messing with them or talking about them behind your back until they realize what you're doing and things just seem to stop for a moment when they approach you.

A very  _long_ moment.

Daniel didn't realize how jealous of Finn and Tina's relationship he was until he saw them walking into the choir room hand-in-hand. Why could  _they_ hold hands and people like Kurt and Blaine or Santana and Brittany couldn't? Why could  _they_ share small kisses in the hallway or in the choir room?

He didn't realize why he was even thinking about this. It wasn't like he had anyone to hold hands with, anyone to kiss, or to hug in the hallway. It was stupid, really, to want what they had when you'd sworn off of it. Kind of dramatic, but  _seriously_ , every teenager wants that.

And Christmas was one of the only times he'd really felt that way -- like he could be happy with a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it'd been with  _Sebastian Smythe_ , who didn't even feel that way and who he didn't feel that way for.

And that was stupid. He was stupid for being so jealous of that. He was being immature for being jealous of the fact that the same people constantly got solos and he was immature for being jealous of that when he didn't even bother speaking up about it.

But he  _never_  got anything.

He was sure he sounded immature. He was sure that if he spoke up about it, people would think he was being irrational and some part of him deep down knew he  _was_ being irrational, but he'd always been stubborn to admitting he was wrong. Tina never got solos. Neither did Artie. The three of them had been there since the beginning and it seemed like everything always went to  _Finn Hudson_.

No denying, Daniel was fine with Finn. He was friends with Finn, Tina was dating him, so there was no reason to be bitter towards him. He didn't have a father either, nor had he had a good life before Kurt's dad married Carole. (Although, yes, he would forever hold a deep anger toward Finn calling Kurt's lamp ' faggy ' and outing Santana, but other than that, he was totally okay with him).

"Dude, are you in love with him or something?"

Daniel snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of Noah Puckerman's voice, blinking until he finally looked up at him with a deep breath. No, he was not in love with Finn. He had a higher chance of being in love with  _Jesse_  than Finn. He wasn't in love with anyone.

Once he finally found his voice — because staring at someone too long and being too caught up in your own thoughts was enough to make you lose it — he spoke, "No. Sometimes it seems like  _you_ are though. Don't blame you, he was pretty. Still is, I suppose."

Noah rolled his eyes, "Shut up, dude. I'm  _not_. That's totally gay and I love you gays, but — "

"I'm not gay." Daniel's voice was stern and he was sure that if people noticed him, they would ask why he was so frowny. He tended to be smiling all of the time, but he didn't know why he'd been in  _such_ a bad mood, almost like something was going to happen. Or it was just the lack of dignity he'd gained from being at this school for too long.

"Are you sure? 'Cause, like, people have been talking and — "

He clenched his jaw. "And what exactly have they been saying, Noah? You assume everyone's gay."  _Don't be so defensive_ , he reminded himself. The more defensive, the more obvious you were. "No one talks about me, so please, I want to get my one - two - three seconds of fame."

"Well, there's something going on between you and the leader of the Garglers."

Daniel's eyes widened, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks.  _What_  the  _fuck_? How did — No, there wasn't anything going on between him and Sebastian. They were just friends, who kissed  _once_. That didn't mean he wanted that getting out there though. He cleared his throat. "It's the Warblers. And there's nothing going on between me and Sebastian. I barely even know him."

No, he knew him too much and that caused a pit in the bottom of his stomach to form. It was almost physically impossible to breathe because of that same pit -- He'd carried it around most of his life. Lying, probably. He always felt  _very_ guilty after lying.

"Well, I gotta bounce, so — " Daniel started getting up from his seat before a  _very_ enthusiastic Mr. Schuester practically jumped into class, shouting out a  _Drum roll, Finn!_ , causing Daniel to  _literally_  fall into his seat with a small scream.

As Daniel slowly looked up with a small sigh, he blinked at the words  _MARRY ME?_ He raised a brow. "Who are you proposing to here --  _Oh_! Miss Pillsbury, cool, cool, cool, cool." He nodded before rubbing his palms on his jeans, pressing his lips together. Great, more heterosexual love. Next week, we'll be learning about Alexander and Eliza Hamilton and how Alexander was a great, big cheater who was also a big idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut. Oh, look! It's Daniel's father. How sweet.

"Yes, I am proposing to Miss Pillsbury!" Everyone cheered, but Daniel couldn't help but pick at his nails, feigning interest. God, this was annoying. He didn't know why, but it was. He always loved Emma and Will's relationship, of course he had, but everything seemed to be annoying him lately. "This is the kind of news that you share with your family, and you guys are my family."

Great. Fun. Yay. So cool. He was apart of a family. That was nice. Too bad half of the people didn't notice half of the people.

"Mr. Schue, we're so happy for you."

"We totally don't think you'll screw it up this time."

Yes, he would. Mr. Schue would undoubtedly say the wrong thing and upset her. That's the way men work. They try saying something romantic, then they totally say something completely wrong, then they get in a fight with their significant other, and there they go -- running, running, running until they find somebody else and that's the end of that. The end. Story over. Goodnight.

It wasn't that Mr. Schue was boring him. No, that could never happen. He wasn't bored. He wasn't. Mildly disinterested, but not bored. And he wasn't tired of the same things repeating over and over again. Yeah, Emma and Will were in love, Finn and Rachel were, too -- even if he was dating Tina, which wasn't fair to her at all. But as stated before,  _men_.

"Here's the thing it's gotta be perfect -- " Cue the yawn from Daniel. Perfect. That word was disgusting. "I'm sitting down with Emma's parents to ask for permission -- " Too old-fashioned. " -- and then this proposal needs to knock her well-washed socks off." Totally. So cool. "That's where you guys come in. So the assignment for the week is to come up with a proposal number and you know Miss Pillsbury -- It's got to be  _perfect_."

"Well, I can't wait to see what Rachel and Finn have in store for us this week."

Everyone seemed to turn their heads to look at Daniel, who was still picking at his nails, boredly, head downcast to express said boredom. It wasn't his fault. Marriage wasn't for everyone, not even glee club teachers who couldn't seem to get out of high school and redheaded goldfish-eyed counselors, who probably only inspired middle-aged soccer moms who drove a van.

He sighed, head still down. "I'm just saying -- They're obviously crowd favorites and we can't deny that. Even though, you know, Finn's dating Tina and Rachel's dating her dreams. And you know, this assignment could potentially shine light on those who have been here since like the beginning -- like Tina, herself and our favorite four eyes, Artie Abrams." When he finally looked up, he saw Will looking at his with kind of a disappointed look.

Nothing Daniel had never seen before.

"I totally love this assignment, Mr. Schue though. Getting engaged, using your glee kids as a way for that, even though engagements should be a very personal thing. You know, statistics state that forty to fifty percent of marriages in the United States are failed for divorce." Daniel smiled, although it was obvious it was bitter. "And that doesn't even start with the infidelity, the leaving children and significant others for another family. Most of the time, it's men. That behavior begins in high school, you know?

"I'm not even surprised, if I'm being honest. We're taught that we have all of the privilege in the world. We're taught as kids that women are expected to do everything for us, including give up everything. That's basically what marriage is, too, isn't it? Sign a legal document, you're bound to that person forever? Wow, I just might swoon."

As he spoke, Daniel slowly stood up from his chair and walked toward the exit, hand gripped tightly onto his backpack strap, jaw clenched before turning back once. "You know, most women who leave men and eventually date the same gender after realizing men are shit have the right idea. I'm sure that will happen eventually to at least half of the girls here. If not, all." He walked out of the choir room with a deep sigh, rolling his eyes.

One thing was clear and that was marriage was shit.

. . .

A few minutes since Daniel had walked out hadn't even passed when everyone began to walk out. He had been leaning on his locker, head tilted back after he'd gotten annoyed at himself. Maybe he had been irrational. He shouldn't have freaked out like that, but did he really want Miss Pillsbury ruining her life and marrying someone who probably only gave the time of day to a glee club? He didn't know what had caused his sudden disdain toward Mr. Schue -- He'd always been his favorite teacher.

When he heard said teacher's voice, saying his name as he looked toward him, seeing that he was gesturing for Daniel to follow him, he rolled his eyes with clear annoyance, crossed his arms and walked with him. He didn't want to talk to him, but it wasn't like there was no other choice, was there? Probably not. Dalton didn't look so bad lately. As they arrived at Mr. Schue's office, he slumped into the chair in front of him and bit his lower lip.

"Are you going to expel me? Kick me out of glee club? Go ahead."

"I know you're lonely in that room, Daniel," was the only thing Mr. Schue said. Daniel wasn't lonely. Not really. Even if he was, did that matter? He didn't snap because he lonely, he snapped because he was upset. . . because he was lonely. He had friends, sure, but they each had their own lives. Kurt was dating Blaine and making sure he was a finalist for NYADA. Rachel was, too. Not dating Blaine, practicing for NYADA. Tina was dating Finn and hung out with Mike and Mercedes a lot. And Santana was dating Brittany and she was probably getting compared for college, too.

So, yeah, he was lonely. It kind of sucked that he could be forgotten and nobody would even care. And it sucked that he was invisible again to these people -- these people that claimed to be family, to be friends. He understood they were busy, but he didn't feel comfortable anymore. Maybe that was why he snapped, too. He was annoyed at most of them and not because they made him lonely, but because they would finally get out of there and he couldn't. He was jealous. There.

Daniel let out a deep breath. "So? Who cares? That wasn't why I snapped at you. I snapped at you because even if it's supposed to be a fair assignment or competition or whatever, you won't stray away from your little projects. I know they're seniors, but some of us have been here for the longest time and we don't even get half the acknowledge of what you give Finn and Rachel and even Blaine." He paused. "You know I can dance circles around Finn? I can play almost every instrument that's required for these stupid Journey song you make us do, you know?"

"Daniel, I understan -- "

"No, you don't!" He snapped. "You teachers always say that you understand, but you have no idea what it feels like in this school. Yeah, whatever, you're the leader of the glee club and okay, wow, you're a Spanish teacher who can't even speak Spanish, but that doesn't make you a minority or anything less than the expectation here. You get  _paid_ to live in this hell again and again and again, but every single one of us who have to face adversity don't even get half of the credit. I do so much for this school. I'm in student council, I'm the president of the two-year winning debate team, I'm in twenty-three more clubs, including glee club. Do you know what I get?

I get paid dust for everything. I know it sounds very selfish of me to expect things from a place where I get my education, but this school system sucks. You know we've read  _Romeo and Juliet_  twice in English this year? We've read that same book for three years and no one has noticed. We have a Spanish teacher -- aka you -- that sucks ass and can't even pronounce  _mañana_  right. This is our education, Mr. Schue. I'm not going to stay here just because the teachers can't teach anything properly. I want to actually graduate and I want everyone in the senior class to graduate and your attempt at teaching is terrible, no offense, of course." He let out a deep breath, realizing he was at the edge of the chair before sitting back.

Will blinked. "Daniel, I am so sorry you feel that way. I know you feel like we don't do enough, but there's nothing the staff and Figgins can do if they don't change their ways. I will talk -- "

"You really think talking will do anything?" Daniel laughed breathlessly, shaking his head. "You think that just because you talk to a couple of teachers and a principal who probably hates most of us and a school board that hires sucky teachers will actually -- I don't know -- host a riot saying,  _Minorities Not Reverse Racism Or Reverse Homophobia Or Xenophobia In General_? I'm Hispanic  _and_  Jewish, Mr. Schue. You really think Catholics or white Christians want me here? You know, if I was alive during the Holocaust, I would've been one of the first ones dead. It isn't just loneliness. It's the feeling that I know someone like me doesn't belong in a school like this."

"So change them. Change their perspective.  _Make_ them want you here. You've always been such an optimist, such an advocate for change. You have always wanted to fight for your rights, even if silently. I don't know what's changed about you -- "

Daniel scoffed. He hadn't changed. His optimistic eyes had opened up to see that the world was an ugly, cruel place. He'd known that for the longest time, but this year -- everything going on in the world -- had really emphasized that. You would've thought that having the first black President would change everything. No, things didn't work like that unfortunately. Things were getting worse. He was getting lonelier, people were talking about him and slowly realizing that he was pansexual. Maybe that was why he was so upset, too. It was one more thing that was added to the long list of reasons why people should avoid him. Pansexuality wasn't valid. Homosexuality wasn't valid. Bisexuality, being transgender, being a lesbian -- None of it. Not at this school, not in this town, not in this entire state.

He was jealous of the people who could be free with their relationship, of people who could run around and not face hate crimes for not fitting in with society's expectations. There was something wrong in this world and it was the people in it. And that was terrible and he couldn't even speak up about it. The amount of people who would try to justify it was endless. And he was so angry about that. He was so angry that he'd hated himself because of his sexuality for the longest time. And he was so angry because half of the time, people didn't even realize that some of the crap they said was terrible.

Daniel let out a shaky breath. "I know I just . . . shouted at you, but can I talk to you about something that I've been thinking about and haven't really spoken up about?" He whispered softly, his cheeks growing red in anxiety that he'd been holding in and it wasn't just because of the coffee he'd drank in the morning. No, he hadn't spoken about this to anyone. No, he hadn't planned to.

"Of course." Mr. Schue replied. "You can talk to me about anything, Daniel. I'm a teacher, and not only that, but you're my family."

The teenager bit his lip roughly. No, no. It was okay to talk about. He knew it was, but he felt so selfish for it. He'd just shouted at him. He doubted Mr. Schue really wanted to hear about his problems. Things that had happened too long ago for anyone to remember. Well, not really. He wondered if Tina still did. "You're right. I am lonely and for that, it's always been my first instinct to get angry, but you don't -- and most people don't -- but there was a time when I was . . .  _really_ depressed." He paused. "And I know that seventh grade is way too young -- That's what most adults say, but no. I wasn't  _just_ sad or lonely. That's what people thought. They never said it, but I know my counselors thought so."

When he paused, hesitating to continue, he saw that glint in Mr. Schue's eyes,  _Continue_. "Uh, yeah, straight to the point though -- I was going to, like, poof. End my life right then and there. I didn't know how, but I was going to. I gave a letter to Tina, expressing my sentiments toward myself and expressing every little inch of love I felt for her. My counselor found it, called me to his office, and called my mom. She didn't answer. I told him she was working, but she was off, getting wasted. So they called Eddie -- who's always been like a dad to me. He picked me up from school, told me to get into his car and we would drive off somewhere. We ended up going to  _Rosie's_ \-- that one restaurant in Columbus. And he just asked me,  _Why_. He told me to think about Tina, think about Jason, think about Santana.

I broke down. I mean, really, I couldn't tell him that the night I'd decided it, my mom told me she didn't care about me. She was drunk, so I know now she didn't mean it, but I'd read somewhere that when people are drunk, they mean what they say. I thought that applied to her, but my mom's different. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. And I  _was_ lonely. My house had been lonely for two years since my dad left. And they pressured me at school a lot. I just wanted to be normal, but they always did. I was always expected to get above an 89 on every test, that's when the anxiety attacks began. It just. . . sucked. They didn't care about my mental health. It was only natural to think nobody cared, right?" He smiled sadly, swallowing hard. "Anyway, yeah. I don't want to go through that again. So I might transfer to Dalton. Just . . . Please don't tell anyone. I know how angry they get about these things."

"If you told them all of this, don't you think they'd understand?" Mr. Schue's voice was gentle. Daniel wondered if he pitied him. This wasn't a story for pity -- This was an explanation to why he'd been angry this year, why he was so upset lately. He was lonely and he didn't want to go back into that dark place. He felt himself slowly going into that again, which was why he'd even considered the transfer in the first place. He remembered what Sebastian had told him when they went to his place.

_What do you wanna be when you grow up?_

Sebastian had replied,  _Dead_.

And no, Daniel didn't want that to happen to Sebastian either. He didn't want him to continue feeling like this. He wanted to be there, he wanted to help him and make him feel less alone. As friends, not a therapist. And maybe Sebastian could be there for him, too. No more loneliness for either of them. They both needed someone there for each other. He knew it wasn't the cure to mental illness. To depression, to anxiety. But he knew that sometimes being there with someone helped, too.

"No." Daniel replied. "I can't talk about this to them. I don't want pity. I told you as an explanation to why I snapped at you and why I'm transferring to Dalton. You can't tell them. They'll be mad at me, or they'll -- I don't know -- send someone to cuss me out. I just can't stand it here. Being lonely, the football players implying that I don't belong anywhere. Most of the people I talked to a year ago probably wouldn't notice I was gone, so I'm fine. Besides, I'm really looking forward to beating you guys at Regionals, so -- " A playful, half-hearted grin curved up his lips.

Mr. Schue chuckled lightly. "We're really gonna miss you roaming these halls, Mr. Ramirez."

"I know."

. . .

It wasn't too late that Daniel arrived at Dalton with a bright smile, walking into the Warblers practice room after making sure all of the Warblers, but Sebastian had gone. This was it. This was going to be his possible new school and as anxious as he was about it, he couldn't help the gut feeling that this would be a good experience. New school, good classes, a place where everybody accepted you no matter who you were. He wouldn't say it was the ideal school, but . . . It was the ideal school.

"I really have made an impression on you the last couple of times we've hung out, haven't I? I should say that's surprising, but it really isn't." Sebastian spoke with a small smirk, tilting his head as he faced Daniel. "Babyface, I was almost afraid you weren't going to consider transferring from your mediocrity of a school. Glad you're here."

Daniel shrugged with a small laugh, bright smile still evident on his lips. "Yes, you did make an impression. And of course you believe you make an impression on everybody. Look at you." He paused. Okay, so possible new school. Possible new best friend. Possible new glee club. Possible scholarship to even get in -- He couldn't pay his way in, of course. He didn't have enough money for that. "Anyway -- After thinking long and hard about it -- "

"Very sexy."

"-- I decided to check this place out. It's definitely on the notes of my phone and there is the great possibility that by two to four weeks from now, I'll be transferring here. I made that sound more dramatic than it is, but I was hoping to have a meeting with your dean, hoping to get a scholarship or something." He shrugged again. This place was huge. He'd never quite seen anything like it.

Sebastian nodded slowly, striding forward so he was standing in front of Daniel, sliding his hands into the pockets of his trousers. The other boy didn't know that look -- The one where it was like,  _Oh, yeah, heh, so you're transferring. Cool, I could care less_. "Mm, well, we would still love to have you here. You know. . . as long as you made up your mind before we all graduate."

Daniel pressed his lips together. Okay, so yes, he was taking a very long time to come up with a decision, but it was a hard one. At the same time, even if loneliness got in the way, he didn't want to let anyone down. Anyone, being Kurt, Tina, Santana. "I'll come up with a decision by -- How does Friday sound? It's pretty soon and it will help me think about the pros and cons of everything."

He noticed a smile. It was rare of Sebastian to smile. Daniel knew he had the love of smirking nonstop. The only person he'd known like that was Jesse St. James and he hadn't spoken to him since Prom last year. "And if your decision means sticking around Hell School Musical?" He hadn't even noticed Sebastian's smile had vanished from his lips. He supposed he'd been too caught up, memorizing it.

"Then -- I have no idea." Daniel responded easily. He did. More loneliness. "I don't know what comes next. Nobody ever does, do they? Anything could happen to any one of us and we'd be too caught up in our own little worlds to notice, right?"

He quickly followed Sebastian out of the practice room after he rolled his green eyes and walked out. He wondered if he'd even wanted him to follow him. He figured, or Sebastian wouldn't have continued talking. "You have to have some kind of idea. Aren't you a genius of some sort? And I'm sure public school has at least taught you basic thinking skills, haven't they?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm a genius. And I maintain a 4.7 GPA or something along those lines, at least." Daniel responded, tone clearly sarcastic, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. "Okay, so, if I stay at McKinley -- I will probably have to deal with someone with a birdbeak. And if I come to this school, I'll have to deal with someone with horseteeth." He pointedly looked up at his, raising a brow.

Sebastian arched a brow. "Only a 4.7? Too little. Clearly you aren't too great of an education." A knowing glint appeared in his eyes as he asked the next question, "Since Warblers are birds. . . wouldn't the birdbeaks be here?"

"Rachel Berry's bird nose, obviously." Daniel stated, his tone as if it was obvious. "And the horseteeth? You -- Kidding! Okay, no, I'm actually not. Your teeth are too big for your own good." No, he was kidding. His teeth weren't that horse-like. That would be completely ridiculous. It wasn't like he had donkey teeth either, so that was good!

"It makes it easier to leave hickeys. Can't complain." Sebastian shrugged as he turned a corner through the walls.

Daniel choked on air, his cheeks a glowing red. Oh, dear God. He was about to compliment the school and Sebastian comes up with that. That was kinky, but still! Daniel had heard worse, of course, but the flirtation had never been directed toward him. "Don't ever say anything like that again. Unannounced, anyways." He spoke after clearing his throat. "Do you always flirt with everyone? Or is it just reserved for me and Blaine Anderson?"

Sebastian let out a laugh -- it seemed real. It was real. And a real smile, too. Score. "You've paid attention to me, clearly. You always have. I've known since we went to get coffee and you said I wasn't a bad person." Daniel wondered if Sebastian was okay with that. If he liked that. He leaned a bit closer -- Sebastian, that is -- and dropped his voice as he said : "Don't worry, I've always paid attention to you, too."

"You have, hmm?" Daniel raised a brow. "And what have you exactly noticed?"

Sebastian calmly stepped in front of Daniel, his eyebrows raising."You have some abandonment issues, you blush over innuendos, you see the best in everyone until you . . . you just can't. You're torn between your head and your heart often, you always want to make people happy, you're alarmingly observant. You pour yourself into your music, then keep it hidden away -- Need I go on?"

The other boy's breath hitched slightly as he bit his lip. He couldn't remember a time where somebody actually known that kind of stuff. There might've been the exception of Kurt, but seriously. Wow. "Well, that clears up all of my Wikipedia." He laughed softly. "Unless you have more stuff, then please continue."

"You don't want to be like your father. The thought of being like him, the fear of it. . . Sometimes it kicks in out of nowhere, but it kicks in hard, and that's why you don't do real relationships. Or any, for that matter." The little bit of vulnerability in Sebastian's eyes when he said that -- That hadn't only been about Daniel, he noticed. It was about both of them. "You smile even when you barely can. You pay too much attention to what your friends think. Your cologne, it smells like some kind of pharmacy brand musk, but pull it off. . . Kind off." A playful smile on Sebastian's lips was enough to make Daniel positively melt. "Oh, and when you care about someone. . . it seems to be pretty deep. And it makes it easy for them to hurt you."

Daniel's lips parted slightly. He knew him better than anyone ever had. In what world would Daniel expect Sebastian Smythe to know him better than anyone else ever had? "I -- Uh -- Wow. Nice, um, observations. . . Uh -- yeah, very nice." He managed to stammer out, still in shock. Okay. He was calm. His heart was not beating out of his heart. Butterflies were not fluttering.

Sebastian leaned one shoulder against the nearest wall, flashing a tired-looking smirk. He'd noticed. Of course Daniel had. "Let's just say, my father isn't the most kickass parent, either. I would guess that all victims of cliche daddy issues can figure each other out pretty well, wouldn't you?"

"I figured." He had. He noticed fear in Sebastian's eyes whenever he mentioned his father. State attorney or not, fathers could be assholes. That was his point -- Most men tended to be assholes. "I didn't want to intrude on your personal business though. Considering we've actually only had, like, four interactions, so I didn't say anything." He shrugged lightly, a small smile growing on his lips. "And you already know my mom's seeing Eddie, so -- "

"Seems I've paid attention to you during those interactions. Besides, I spent Christmas with you -- That must count for twenty more." Sebastian paused. "I didn't really speak to your mom on Christmas. What's she like? Oh! Let me guess -- She's in love with her guitar, too."

"Oh! Yeah, you didn't. Right, okay, um, how do I start?" Daniel took a small pause. He loved his mom. It was probably not the best thing, seeing as the way she used to treat him, but he understood. He understood why she acted the way she did. He didn't hold a grudge. He didn't hate her. "No, my mom is not in love with her guitar. She doesn't have a guitar. But, let's see -- Before my dad left, she was always so happy. Always full of joy, she loved everything. Anything. Then I noticed the fights before my dad left and my mom seemed to . . . drift, I suppose that's the proper way to put it. She'd always been diagnosed with depression and I knew it, but she feel deep into it after he left. Felt she wasn't good enough. She became an alcoholic. 'Would stay out until very late. I had to take care of my brother. You can see that she's . . . happier now."

When Sebastian stayed silent, the first thought Daniel had was that he'd said something wrong. He didn't know what, but it was possible with him lately. "Hold up." He finally spoke. "You're telling me you raised your little brother on your own for the past however long? How the hell did you not lose your mind?"

Daniel didn't even realize Sebastian was capable of shock. It didn't radiate off his indifferent persona. "Uh, yeah, six years. Nearly seven this year." He paused. "I guess I like kids. That must be it." He loved Jason. He never minded taking care of him. The pressure was the worst part. On top of being ten, twelve, thirteen -- There was a lot of work. School and personal. He didn't know how he hadn't gone insane. It was . . . a lot.

"That's why I was your first kiss, right? However long ago it was. You  _just_ had it because you were always being a father. You never had the time to be a teenager." Sebastian spoke slowly.

"Yeah." Daniel's tone was soft. He'd always known Sebastian was good. Face of stone, heart of gold. He didn't know if that was the saying, but it was so Sebastian that he didn't even care if it wasn't. "It's that or I'm the epitome of a virgin." Both. Definitely both.

Sebastian straightened his Dalton blazer. Damn, Daniel missed the black sweater. "I see no reason why it can't be both. But if you want, I could always help you with that -- " He winked, causing Sebastian to smack his arm, shaking his head with a slight scoff. "Awh, are you sure, sweets? From how you were making out with me during your apparent first kiss, that does come as a mild surprise to me -- "

"Shut  _up_." Daniel blushed,

"See, I  _would_ shut up," Sebastian began as he lightly brushed his fingers along Daniel's flushed cheeks, a smile tugging at his lips. "but one, I wouldn't want to deprive you of my voice, and two, I always have more to say. Should we discuss your whole wanting-to-groan while kissing me thing next?" At Daniel's darker blush, he laughed softly. "Oh, don't worry so much, sweets. Your whole wanting-to-go-rougher, wanting-to-groan-like-crazy blushing thing is super hot."

Daniel went to hide his red face as he muttered an  _Oh, my God_ , but Sebastian was much too fast and tugged them away from his face, touch lingering slightly just for a moment, before letting go. "Don't hide your pretty little face," Sebastian started. "It ruins my satisfaction of making you blush. Seriously, I don't think anyone has ever blushed this hard in the history of blushing over impure flirtation."

"You think I'm pretty," Daniel smiled softly.

"Oh, no. I clearly flirt with you because you are even less satisfying to the eyes than guys who actually think they can pull off man buns without looking homeless." Sebastian drawled, a slight smirk on his face.

"Your -- what I hope is -- sarcasm is hilarious. Per usual."Chuckling softly, Daniel tilted his head, his smile growing a little wider. He hadn't experienced anything like this before. Someone knowing him so well, being friends with someone with no judgment, no rules, no nothing. This school was . . . the best.

Sebastian looked Daniel up and down. Very obviously. "Oh, it was definitely sarcasm. I'm attracted to you, you're attracted to me. Simple. Not that hard to understand with your apparent genius IQ." He paused before sitting at a very familiar staircase, patting the seat next to him with a brighter smile than before. Daniel liked it, he realized as he sat down beside him. "You know, your endearing schoolboy innocence will fit in perfectly here."

Daniel looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh, come on, I don't have a schoolboy innocence. You do, however. You have a face that makes you seem like an innocent schoolboy, until everyone meets you and you go on and on about how their outfits make them look poor. At least you're pretty. And if people really get to know you -- They'll realize you clearly are innocent. Don't worry." He winked playfully. "I won't tell."

"Listen here, pretty boy. I am the epitome of impurity. You might be blinded by your urge to see the best i people and your love for stardust and rainbows and blah, blah, blah, but there is nothing impure about me. How about I voice my thoughts aloud? You know, for science."

"You're funny," Daniel smiled widely. "Voice those thoughts, o' impure one. I suppose you should, considering you're sex on a stick or whatever people say. Hmm, I can see it. But I must admit -- Despite your impure flirting and everything, you're innocent. Sex doesn't defy your innocence. It's the things you care about. You care about Blaine, the Warblers. . . Right?"

"Sure, I care about music, the Warblers, Blaine, you, my pets -- and, most importantly, myself. It doesn't make me innocent, baby face."

( It totally made him innocent ).

"Sure it does!" He exclaimed. "It makes you a good person when you care, even for the smallest of things."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Wait, hold on. I want to go back to the time you called me sex on a stick about five minutes ago." He wasn't supposed to remember. Crap. Okay, calm. Calm. It's fine. Everything is perfectly fine. When Daniel began to sputter out denials, Sebastian lifted his legs and placed them on top of Daniel's legs. "I'm not moving until you admit what you said."

"Oh,  _come on_!" Daniel laughed, shaking his head. "That is totally unfair." The visual of Sebastian holding back laughter, smiling brightly -- It was . . . beautiful. Sebastian was beautiful. "Your legs are huge and giant and you're so tall! I'm not athletic enough for this. Also -- You taste like coffee, by the way."

"This entire thing could be taken care of if you just admit that you said something very inappropriate and impure about me." He paused. "I'm obsessed with coffee, as long as it's dosed with courvoisier. That day, however, I'm pretty sure I didn't get it spiked."

"I'm not admitting to anything!"

"Hmm, I must assume you like it when my body's draped all over you like this. I could always drape it all over you in a different way -- " He was cut off with his own laugh when Daniel smacked him again, ducking his head. "Clearly I'm irresistible. You're going to break one way or another."

Daniel let out a small laugh. "Mhm, oh, clearly." His gaze fell toward Sebastian's lips, but they quickly looked away, biting his lip, shaking his head to himself. No, not happening again.

"See," Sebastian started softly as he glanced over at Daniel, his lips curving into a small smile. "You finally admit it." It was silent for a moment before Sebastian broke it, "You seem pretty eager to transfer to Dalton, but at the same time, very hesitant. Why is that?"

He didn't know the answer. No, he did, actually. "There's a limited amount of people who care about me at McKinley. Or even notice me at all. The ones that do -- Well, I care about them back. It's a really bad habit. Whoever cares about me, I care about them back without a second guess."

"Does that mean you care about  _me_?"

"Yes."

Speed and cold. Fire and ice. Polar opposites. A secret heart of gold and an evident one. They were both different. But they understood each other without a doubt.

"Well, lucky for you, I happen to care about you, too." Sebastian stretched his legs out, smiling softly as Daniel bit back one of his own smiles. "You don't seem in such a hurry to return to your wholesome group of misfits."

Daniel shrugged. "They're preparing for some proposal -- Our glee club director got them all to perform a number for him so that he could choose the best one."

"You didn't participate?"

"I don't believe in marriage."

Sebastian nodded. "Well, I can certainly give you a good time -- "

A bright blush crossed Daniel's face again, his bright smile still on his lips. "It's like you want me to leave, don't you?" He didn't want to leave. Being around Sebastian, laughing with him -- He knew that's what it would be like at Dalton. God, he'd been alone for ages. This was what it felt like to have someone genuinely care about you. And he knew the New Directions did, but it wasn't the same. "Now I am going to pretend to ignore everything you said and tell you I will make my decision on transferring soon." He was.

Leaning close to Daniel's ear, dropping his voice to a breathy whisper, Sebastian whispered softly : "Au contraire, I want you to stay for a very long time." He pulled back slightly, leaning against the banister. "Well, can't wait, really. My life relies on that most special of decisions."

"I want to stay for a very long time."

"You want to stay for a long time? Now, the million dollar question -- Stay in Dalton, or stay with me?"

"Would both be such a bad thing?" Daniel bit his lip. Yes, he wanted to stay for both. Sebastian and Dalton, in general. And it wasn't just because Sebastian paid attention. It wasn't that at all -- He made Daniel feel . . . good. Special.

"Quit biting your lip, sweets." Sebastian muttered, lightly brushinf his pointer finger against Daniel's lower lip.  _Hypocrite_ , Daniel thought as he noticed the boy biting his own lip. "And . . . It would be good. Both would be good."

Daniel's breath caught in his throat. He wanted him to transfer. Oh God. "I want to transfer." It beat being lonely at McKinley. It beat being at McKinley in general. "And as for your comment about me biting my lip -- You're a hypocrite."

"Oh, come on. If your lips are all bitten up, it's going to make it hard for me to kiss you." Daniel noticed the brightness in Sebastian's eyes. It made him smile. He was going to transfer. This laughing, this talking -- It was going to happen every day.

God. This would be good.

 


	6. Human Nature.

"I'm not comfortable having this conversation with Blaine in the room. Or Daniel, for that matter. Clearly, once a Warbler, always a Warbler."

 

At Puck's words, Daniel turned to him, jaw dropped. "What did I do?! That was all Blaine, I didn't tell anyone we were doing Michael Jackson. Besides, I haven't spoken to Sebastian all week. And I'm not a Warbler." Which was a complete lie. He had spoken to Sebastian two days ago to let him know about his transfer. He felt guilty about that too. Maybe he shouldn't -- He remembered how upset everyone had been about Kurt.

 

But he wasn't exactly like Kurt. He hadn't been that confident since freshman year and that wasn't even confidence -- it was simply a facade (that was what he had told himself, anyway, but the truth was he was just keeping so many secrets from everybody -- His mom, Jason, the New Directions). It had turned him bitter. Maybe he was just frustrated. At the world, at himself.

 

"All right, don't -- don't put the blame on either of us," Blaine said, shaking his head.

 

"Dude, you told him what we were gonna do. You're like a modern-day Eggs Benedict. He's on notice as far as I'm concerned. They both are." Daniel could feel Noah's eyes burning in the back of his head as he turned to face forward. He knew. He knew about Daniel and Sebastian. He'd said as much.

 

Whatever. If he told any of the New Directions, that would be unfair, seeing as he hadn't told anyone when Quinn told Daniel that Puck was the father of Beth. If there was anything Daniel knew how to do it was keep the truth from others. His father, he'd lied about Beth, his own sexuality, the fact that he would probably be transferring.

 

"We should all be on notice," Finn spoke up. An encouraging grin spread on Tina's lips. They'd broken up, however, Tina realizing that she loved Mike more, which Finn said was totally okay. Mutual breakups. Quite charming. "I mean, next to Vocal Adrenaline, the Warblers are the best glee club in the state, and for a lot of us, this is our last shot at a championship, so we should stop complaining about the Warblers and start figuring out how to beat them."

 

For once, Daniel agreed. Plus, talking about the Warblers made Daniel sick to the stomach. He figured it would be the same for a few weeks, or for however long it would take him to stop feeling guilty about the situation. His index finger tapped against his thigh to the beat of a song -- Speechless by Michael Jackson -- until Mr. Schuester made his abrupt entrance in the choir room.

 

As he always did, if he was being completely honest.

 

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Finn," Mr. Schuester announced. "I'm less worried about our setlist and more interested in getting us in the right mindset to crush those guys. . . Which is why, our lesson for the week is -- " He wrote W-W-M-J-D-? on the board. " -- What Would Michael Jackson Do?"

 

And alright, this was getting too dramatic.

 

"He'd fight back. He'd say MJ is ours, Regionals is ours, and if they want it, they can pry it from my sequin-gloved hand."

 

Daniel was more than sure Finn and the rest of the guys with the exception of Kurt, and probably Mike, had never worn a sequin glove in their lives. Daniel never had. Maybe that was why he assumed everyone was being extra dramatic this week. When was the last time they had acted this way? Britney Week last year probably.

 

"Mhmm, straight-up. In 1983, MTV said they wouldn't air his Billie Jean music video. What'd he do? He fought back. They aired it and the Thriller album sold an additional ten million copies." Artie said. Ah, right, he'd totally forgotten Artie Abrams had also been quite passionate about Michael Jackson.

 

That was ridiculous. He hadn't forgotten, but after their visit to the Lima Bean and the Warblers getting in their faces at Dalton, singing I Want You Back, Artie had pointed out that Sebastian had stared at all of them, except for Daniel, and had questioned him about he and Sebastian and whether or not they were dating or friends or what was up.

 

So, Daniel had blocked him out.

 

"That's right."

 

"I know what Michael would do," Blaine said. The hint of a smirk was on his lips. "I think he would take it to the streets."

 

When the rest of the New Directions agreed and started getting up from their streets, especially Rachel, already planning choreography, Daniel blinked. He stayed sitting down, until Noah tapped his shoulder. He turned to face him. "What do you want? Can't you harass someone else?"

 

Noah scoffed. "All right, dude, I don't know what's been going on with you this whole year, but it's made your coolness factor go from 100 to 0. Jew-to-Jew, bro, what's going on?"

 

Daniel raised a brow. "I don't see why it's any of your business, Noah. Quite frankly, I assumed you would spend this entire year trying to get into Quinn's skirt, since it's your last year together, but you seem to be taking all that time trying to get me to punch you." He smiled sarcastically.

 

"Look, I totally get that you're gay for that Smythe kid or whatever, but this is totally not cool. It's immoral."

 

He scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Like Noah Puckerman was one to talk about immoralities. As if he even knew what it meant. "You sleep with married women, I'm sure you can handle me being bitter toward you. Do you even know what immoral means?" He rose from his chair and started toward Tina and Mike.

 

"Okay, it's not my fault that he's the hottest guy you laid your half-gay eyes on -- "

 

"Oh my God, can you shut up?!" Daniel's voice echoed through the choir room as he turned to face Noah again. Everyone turned to look at him, causing his cheeks to flame up. He huffed. He could see Tina's hand going toward his shoulder through his peripheral vision, but he turned around to face her again and smiled brightly. "All right. Let's, uh -- "

 

"Totally." Mike nodded.

 

"Mr. Schue, if you don't mind, Mike, Daniel, and I aren't going to participate." Tina's voice wavered slightly as she glanced toward him. "We know it means a lot to the New Directions, but I think Daniel needs a break from here." She knew it. She knew who was Noah was referring to and it was obvious she knew what was wrong. Of course she did. She knew him better than anyone.

 

Daniel bit his lower lip. "It's, uh . . . you know, dangerous. . . being without parental supervision. . . and I told my mom I would be home early. . . without going to a garage and performing a Michael Jackson song, which in all honesty, sounds a little weird."

 

Mr. Schue raised a brow. "All right . . . but I don't see why you two have can't participate."

 

Everyone had gone back to work, even Noah, who was standing beside Quinn, Rachel, Blaine and Santana, learning the choreography. Blaine was teaching it, which was the obvious choice. He knew the Warblers's weaknesses back and forth.

 

"Our moms planned a dinner," Mike answered. "My mom was friends with Daniel's in high school and Tina's mom is close to our moms. So, we're having a dinner together at my place and then we're just gonna hang out."

 

Tina nodded in agreement.

 

"Oh. Okay." Mr. Schue said, "Well, if you three wanna get going already, feel free."

 

"Thanks, Mr. Schue." Tina smiled before grabbing both Daniel and Mike's hands and dragging them out of the choir room. "Daniel. Which guy was Puck talking about?" She asked as soon as they arrived at their lockers. They formed a triangle as they sat down.

 

"Hold on," Daniel held a hand up before turning to Mike. "What is this? You and I haven't spoken since freshman year. I know you're dating Tina, but don't expect me to feel comfortable with you lying about my mother to Mr. Schue's face -- "

 

Mike chuckled, cutting him off. "You realize you both would've made a huge scene if we stayed in there, right? And it kinda sounded like he outed you or at least was going to. He's been on edge all year. Besides, if we would've gotten arrested for trespassing, that wouldn't look good on your college applications."

 

"You make a fair point," Daniel nodded. "Anyway, he was referring to Sebastian."

 

Tina blinked. Mike gasped.

 

"Are you serious?" Mike asked.

 

"I knew you liked tall, bitter, dark-haired, coffee-loving pale guys, but I didn't expect you to like Sebastian Smythe, out of everyone!" And then, Tina cooed. "Forbidden love. I take it that's why you want to transfer to Dalton, too?"

 

Raising a brow, Daniel tilted his head. "How did you know about that?"

 

"We overheard you talking about it to your mom on the phone during gym." Mike shrugged. "If it makes you happy, we think you should definitely do it. You do seem a little down this year, so if it's better for you, we think it would be great."

 

"Besides, you and I still have weekend hangouts, don't we?" Tina smiled.

 

Daniel chuckled, nodding. "Yeah."

 

The three of them had never really hung out together, but Daniel and Tina had always been close and he and Mike used to talk a lot during Daniel's freshman year and texted over the summer before Asian Camp, where Mike and Tina had made out and become a couple. This was nice though.

 

"Is anyone actually down for dinner though? I'm starving." Mike's emphasis on the word made Daniel let out a small laugh, before realizing he hadn't actually eaten anything today. Aside from a cup of coffee he'd picked up on the way to school, nothing.

 

"Please. I haven't eaten anything all day." He was getting better. He hadn't relapsed, not since exam week last year. The thought almost made him smile, but he figured if he did, it would be creepy to just be smiling at nothing. "As long as you pay," He added, directed toward Mike.

 

Tina's smile brightened. "Mike's a gentleman, of course he'll pay."

 

"You two don't have money on you, do you?"

 

 

"Nope," Tina and Daniel replied in unison, making Mike shake his head an faux-disappointment.

 

. . .

 

Mike had ended up buying them Breadstix and Daniel swore he would pay him back, while Tina drank her lemonade, looking away. If there was anything Daniel wasn't expecting from tonight, it was Kurt calling him with urgency in his tone about Blaine getting hurt. Someone had tampered with a slushie and thrown it at Blaine, though they were sure it was meant for Kurt.

 

Someone from the Warblers.

 

Someone from Dalton. Dalton, the same school that was supposed to guarantee everyone's safety. Sebastian had thrown the slushie. Daniel had always seen the best in him. This couldn't have been him, could it? He was the Captain. He was supposed to be an example to the Warblers. He was supposed to be Blaine's friend.

 

Until it was confirmed that it was him, Daniel wasn't going to judge him on it. He had trouble trusting people and if he'd ended up trusting the wrong person, he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

 

And that was how Daniel had ended up convincing Mike and Tina to take him to Westerville while the rest of the New Directions had gone home and Kurt had stayed at the hospital with Blaine's parents and his cousin from Carmel -- Lacey. She was the one who had been friends with Sophia and was friends with Alicia.

 

"Honest opinions -- Do you guys think it was Sebastian?" Daniel's voice was slightly strained. He hadn't talked for an hour and that had been the cause of it, not because he was hurt or anything. Well, that, too. He blamed it on empathy most of the times, but he felt some piercing in his eye when he thought about Blaine getting hit with the slushie.

 

Sebastian.

 

Sebastian had thrown the slushie.

 

Sebastian had possibly tampered with the slushie with something that could possibly leave Blaine blind.

 

But, how? Sebastian cared about Blaine. Daniel knew this from the way he spoke about him. It couldn't be a facade because everything else was. Pretending not to care about anyone, but Daniel knew he loved his pets -- a black cat and a terrier. And Sebastian had said he cared about the Warblers. . . and that he cared about him.

 

Tina took a moment before responding. "I don't know, Daniel."

 

And then Mike spoke, "Rachel said he looked a little guilty. All of the Warblers did. That's what she said, though, but we never know. You trust him, don't you?"

 

Daniel looked out the car window. He laid in the backseat, his head resting on the door. "Yeah," His voice was soft, but it was loud enough for Mike and Tina to hear. The music from the radio played lightly. Mike had put in his CD of Favourite Worst Nightmare by Arctic Monkeys. Old Yellow Bricks transitioned into 505. 

 

"Trust your gut, then. Do you think he did this?" Mike's voice was understanding. No, not understanding. It just felt like he wouldn't  . . . It felt like he was actually paying attention to him.

 

"No." Daniel saw the good in everyone until he couldn't. Sebastian had pointed that out. He did trust him, more than anyone. He was more than sure this was . . . blackmail, or a mistake, or -- or something. It had to be something else. Why would Sebastian do this? What would he gain out of hurting Kurt or Blaine?

 

"Then, Mike and I believe you." Tina said. The hint of a smile was on her lips.

 

"Thank you." His voice sounded tired. It wasn't supposed to be. It wasn't like Sebastian had nearly blinded him or anything. Though if Sebastian had tampered with that slushie, it would be betrayal. God, this was so frustrating. He didn't know what he was supposed to do if it ended up that it was Sebastian's fault that Blaine ended up in the hospital.

 

A moment passed. When you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect? I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck, or I did last time I checked. Daniel bit his lip gently. "Can you guys please wake me up when we get there?" He was thinking too much. This was going too fast. He didn't know what to think. What do you say when the guy you liked apparently blinded one of your friends?

 

Guy you liked.

 

He hadn't realized it. He thought of Sebastian as more than a friend. It didn't even feel different. It felt like he had liked him for so long. He hadn't even denied it when Tina asked if it was like a forbidden romance. Crap. This was a huge mess. He usually just brushed it off, but this . . . this was real. He was grown up. There was no time for brushing off anything anymore.

 

"Of course. And if you want us to wait for you inside, we will." That was Mike.

 

"Thanks."

 

He closed his eyes. The rain seemed to calm him down more in a car than at his own house. Then again, there was no bad memories in Mike's car. That sounded horrifically wrong. It took a couple of minutes before Daniel fell asleep.

 

. . .

 

And it only felt like a couple of minutes before Mike was shaking him awake, announcing they had arrived at Dalton.

 

Daniel yawned, stretching for a moment before getting out of the car. He noticed the right side of Tina's black hair was messed up. She must've fallen asleep, too. Her sleepy daze showed that she had, seeing as she'd almost tripped over a rock. He let out a small laugh and she nudged him playfully, causing him to nearly trip, as well.

 

Mike offered them both cups of coffees from Starbucks that he had bought on their way over while they were asleep and they accepted it with smiles, though Daniel didn't drink his yet. His stomach was turning from the nerves and if he drank coffee right now, he feared he would vomit on Sebastian when he confronted him.

 

"Do you guys think this is a good idea? What if one of the Warblers beats me up?" Daniel asked them in a hushed tone as they walked toward the gate. He plucked two of Tina's bobby pins, reaching for the lock, but the gates opened themselves. His eyes widened. "They're watching us."

 

"All right, let's go." Mike shook his head, grabbing Daniel and Tina's hands and pulling them inside. "It's probably just a sensor gate," He said as they walked the pathway toward the front door. "It isn't as big as I imagined it to be. The door, that is."

 

"What did you imagine, Mike? A freakin' castle?" Tina's tone was sarcastic, though it was playful. Finn had made her happy, but Daniel couldn't imagine what it was like to be without Mike. He'd made her happier, he knew that much. Finn was nice enough, but he loved Rachel. Tina had known that.

 

Daniel opened the front door, which had been left unlocked and that was definitely dangerous, only to see multiple Warblers sitting on benches as Nick and Jeff paced the room, muttering something about, Do you think it was him? and Maybe it was Mark. He knew about Mark -- one of the newest Warblers, who had been told to have a grudge toward the New Directions for no reason.

 

"Hey, where's Sebastian?" Daniel questioned the nearest Warbler. He soon identified him as Thad, who pressed his lips together and looked toward Nick. "Look, okay, I just need to ask him something -- "

 

"You want to know if he threw the slushie or not." Thad replied.

 

"Well, yeah."

 

"He's in his dorm with Mark. Upstairs across the hall. You're gonna have to leave your friends here though."

 

Daniel nodded. "Thanks. I, uh, I'm sorry about what happened. I mean, I wasn't there, but the whole Michael Jackson thing is just . . . out of control." A slight chuckle escaped before he walked away after handing Tina his coffee to hold, who sat beside Thad while Mike sat beside another Warbler. Yes, he knew where Sebastian's dorm was. He'd shown him when he'd given him a tour when he'd decided he wanted to transfer.

 

When he arrived -- after nearly tripping up the stairs -- he knocked on the door softly. Sebastian opened up and his eyes widened when he saw Daniel before pulling him in. "I didn't do it. I don't know if they told you about Blaine or anything, but it wasn't me, I swear. It was this asshole." Sebastian pointed at Mark as he groaned. When Mark tried to speak, he put a hand up. "Shut up, just shut up. Do you realize what you did? What this is going to mean for me?"

 

"I don't think Blaine's parents are going to press charges, but I wouldn't know. I wasn't there and I wanted to talk to you before going to the hospital." Daniel answered.

 

Sebastian nodded before running his fingers through his loose curls. "I didn't know the slushie was tampered with. It was supposed to be fun and games -- it was supposed to be a regular slushie, but -- as I said, this complete asshole thought it would be funny to add in -- What was it? Say it with the shame you should feel."

 

"Rock salt."

 

"Rock salt. He thought it would be funny to add rock salt," Sebastian glared at Mark. "Leave. And you're out of the Warblers. You must've fallen on your head so many times as a kid if you thought adding rock salt into a slushie." Once Mark left, Sebastian sat down on his bed with an exhausted breath. "Is Blaine -- "

 

"I think he's okay," Daniel's voice was soft as he took a seat beside him. He reached toward Sebastian's hand. He let him. Their fingers intertwined together. The guy you like. "Are you? Okay, I mean."

 

"When his parents find out that it was me that did it, what do you think they're gonna do?" Sebastian was so . . . quiet. He was scared. This could ruin his future. He wasn't the one who tampered with the slushie, but he was still getting the blame pinned on him.

 

"They'll probably say it was a prank gone wrong. But I don't think they would do anything to you. Legal, that is. The whole charges stuff." Daniel squeezed Sebastian's hand and the latter turned to him, lips pressed together. "You'll be okay. You both will. It will be okay. You just need to explain that it wasn't you who tampered with the slushie."

 

Sebastian swallowed hard. "You know they won't believe me. Pride Float, Blaine, Tina Blowen-Wang -- "

 

"She actually believes that you didn't do it," Sebastian was surprised. "She said that if I believe you didn't do it, I must be right. I'm never wrong, you see -- "

 

"Oh, shut up," His tone was playful and Daniel smiled softly. "Why do you believe me?"

 

Daniel's eyes widened. It was his turn to be surprised. There was something about Sebastian's voice -- It sounded so . . . melancholic, so sad, so shocked. "I see the good in you, Sebastian. I've always seen the good in you. You're a good person. I wouldn't believe in you if you didn't." He used his free hand to brush away one of Sebastian's curls from his face before leaning in and pressing a small peck to his lips.

 

"You see the good in everyone," Sebastian whispered.

 

"Until I can't," Daniel whispered back. "And the truth is, you are so . . . amazing. I know not many people know that, but they don't know you like I know you. I know that you love shopping and you love music that could blow my ears off and you care so much about people that it hurts sometimes. And I know that you're so sad deep down, but . . . you don't have to be sad anymore. Or lonely."

 

A breath. A pause.

 

"I'm here. Always."

 

Sebastian exhaled. Daniel's breath hitched. It seemed like he'd been holding in a breath forever and Daniel could feel his heart breaking at the thought. How long had Sebastian been alone and why had no one done anything about it? Why had his father allow him to lay in his room, isolated, angry at the world for taking his mother away?

 

Was that how it had been after his mother died? Was he happy before? Did he get along with his dad before everything happened? Before they moved to Paris and then to Lima? Where did they live before? California, New York?

 

"Thank you."

 

"Why are you thanking me?" Daniel's voice broke.

 

"No one's ever seen any good in me."

 

. . .

 

Daniel didn't show up to glee club the next day.

 

He knew they would be talking about Sebastian, and he would want to defend him, but Sebastian warned him against it. There was no reason to. The truth would probably get out eventually. And if it didn't, there was no need for everything to spiral out of control, and it most likely would if Daniel was defending the enemy.

 

Mike and Tina had ended up sleeping over the night before after asking permission from their parents and it had been nice to have people around after leaving Dalton. He had told them about Mark being the one to tamper the slushie and how Sebastian was going to take the blame because even though Mark wasn't a Warbler anymore, he still cared about him in some weird way.

 

It wasn't romantic. It was in a familial type of way. That was how he felt about all of the Warblers. Tina had said, I feel so horrible for him, and Mike had asked if there was any way they could help Sebastian or if he even wanted them to help. It wasn't something he'd expected from either of them, but it made sense. They were two of the kindest people in the glee club.

 

"Daniel?"

 

Quinn.

 

When he turned around to face her, she was smiling softly. "What's going on? Please don't tell me you wanna hit me. I know I didn't go trespass with y'all -- "

 

"No, that's not it," Quinn shook her head before curling her fingers around his wrist and dragging him inside the girls' bathroom, which okay, was not appropriate, but it reminded him of when she had told him she was pregnant with Puck's baby. It seems too much was reminding him of freshman year. "I just wanted to thank you."

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, a small laugh escaping his lips. "What for?"

 

"You were there for me the entire time I was pregnant. I told you before I told Finn, you gave me so many tips, we were friends. I know we drifted, but I also know how much you know about growing up," She reached into her blazer and handed Daniel an envelope. "I want you to open it. And tell me if I got in."

 

"Quinn. . . Yale? Oh my God. . . I can't. You have to -- "

 

"I feel like if I do, I'll be shaking so much, I won't be able open it correctly."

 

After one more reassuring nod, Daniel opened the letter, quickly scanning it after he unfolded it. Dear Quinn, Congratulations -- "Oh, my God!" He threw his arms around her quickly, a bright smile on his face. "You got in! You got in! This is -- This is amazing -- !" He abruptly pulled back. "Quinn, I'm so -- I'm so happy for you, this is brilliant."

 

 

Quinn was smiling. She let out a small breath, shaking her head. "I'm getting out of here." She whispered, mostly to herself, as if she was still trying to process it. "The past three years have been so hard and it's going to be over and I'm going to get out of here." She shook her head in . . . he couldn't tell if it was disbelief or happiness or if she was processing it all at once.

 

"You . . . I look up to you so much. You did it. I always knew you would." His voice was soft as they hugged again, his eyes fluttering shut. They stayed in that position for a moment before pulling away. "Are you telling anyone soon? You don't have to."

 

She nodded. "I'm thinking about telling Rachel next. Then, everyone else. Probably tomorrow. Today's glee club meeting was a mess. I just wanted to tell you first . . . You've always been there for me, since day one and when I leave this place, I want to keep contact with you. I know it's a long shot, but -- "

 

"Absolutely," Daniel's smile brightened. "I mean, we have to. I really . . . I really did miss you when we drifted and I hope we can get it all back. Well, some of it, at least."

 

"Of course," She said. "And if you ever want to come and visit New Haven, let me know."

 

"I will."

 

"And . . . if what Puck said is true, you know that nobody in glee club is going to judge you, right?"

 

"Do you know that?" Daniel's tone was genuine. He tilted his head slightly, biting his lip. When Quinn stayed silent, he swallowed hard. "It isn't just the glee club. It's everyone. The whole school, my family. . . I think I would just be better off leaving the coming out to when I'm drunk off my face in college." He let out a sad laugh.

 

"I came to terms with it over the summer, but I've known since I was eleven. You?" Quinn's voice was soft -- so unlike her this year.

 

"Seventh grade, but I've known since I was five and kissed a boy on the playground," Daniel scoffed. "It's not fair. . . that we don't get to be ourselves without a wall in between the people we want to love."

 

"It is what it is," Quinn shrugged. "Nothing we can do about it."

 

"We could make history at this school. Kurt already has."

 

"If only it was that easy."

 

. . .

 

Finn and Rachel had gotten back together. Kurt had gotten into NYADA as a finalist. Quinn had gotten into Yale. And in the midst of that happiness, there was Daniel Ramirez sitting in the piano bench, playing the opening keys of Human Nature. He smiled softly. He loved music. That was why he'd taught himself the violin and guitar and piano.

 

But it wasn't something he was extremely passionate about. He'd wanted it to be when he'd first joined glee club. He was developing a love in writing recently, but he had no idea if that was going to stick. Whatever it ended up being, he knew it would be okay. (Although, he secretly hoped for it to be writing. He wanted to make people happy. He wanted to give them hope. He didn't know what he would write, but he hoped it would inspire people).

 

Columbia was a good school for writing. And maybe when everything was okay, when he accepted himself and not the version everyone wanted, he would write his book and he would probably self-publish (because he just rolled that way) and he would write stories about his own life.

 

A chuckle escaped at the thought. There was something about thinking about the future that gave him a sort of chill. It wasn't bad, it was just at the thought of getting out of here, having a family, having friends over for dinner, graduating top of his class at Columbia or any good school that accepted him.

 

He stopped playing when he heard footsteps. He looked up to meet eyes with Kurt. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I was just leaving -- "

 

"You like him, don't you? Sebastian?"

 

How could Kurt know? How did everyone know? The only person he had wanted to know was Tina and then Mike, not Puck, not anyone else. Daniel pressed his lips together. "Why does it matter to you? It really shouldn't matter to anyone -- "

 

"He blinded Blaine, Daniel! I don't want to see you getting hurt!" Dog whistle for humans. Well, not really, but he sounded like one when he was upset. Not like a dog whistle, but his voice got to the highest pitch it could, apparently.

 

He just wanted to tell him that it wasn't Sebastian. It was all Mark. Mark had tampered with the slushie. Mark might ruin Sebastian's future if anyone actually cared, if anyone pressed charges or if they reported it to the police.

 

"It shouldn't matter to you," Daniel shook his head. "It shouldn't. We haven't spoken in months, you don't have the right to tell me anything or warn me about anything. It's my choice -- "

 

"I care about you, Daniel. We were best friends once."

 

"And look at how that turned out." Daniel had been the first to distance himself though. A week before Burt and Carole's wedding, he'd realized he was in love with Kurt. And then he transferred to Dalton, got close to Blaine, and the rest was history. He was happy for Kurt, of course, it wasn't like they would ever get together anyway.

 

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Don't even pull that one on me. It isn't my fault that you got caught up in your own lies to realize that you have people around you that care about you." He was eerily calm, which scared Daniel . . . just a little bit.

 

"God, Kurt, I thought you would understand," Daniel let out a breath. "Are you really one to talk about not knowing that people around you care about you? Because you seem to forget it. All of us do, it's almost inevitable. I don't know why you care so much about my life and what's going on with it, but can you just screw off?"

 

"That's ironic coming from the person who gets into everyone's business."

 

"I wrote the school newspaper, that was kinda my job -- "

 

"Before you slip on a fancy blazer, at least consider everyone else and what we've all done for you," Kurt snapped. "Because I guarantee you, none of the students at Dalton would do what we have."

 

Daniel set his jaw. "It's not like you're coming back next year."

 

"That's exactly why you should stay! When are you going to see me, or Rachel, or Quinn again? Mike? Mercedes? You play a nice game of playing indifferent toward others, but you care about everyone too much." With that, Kurt spun on the heel of his shoes and exited the choir room.

 

Daniel would've screamed if he wasn't at school. Everything was just so fucking complicated, he could swear he was going to explode. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. When he was stressed or something seemed to be going wrong, he knew what he had to do. But he couldn't. Not this year. Not again.

 

He walked out of the choir room, holding tightly onto his backpack strap as he walked toward Tina and Mike with a small smile. "Is it true that everyone's rounding up to perform Black and White for the Warblers? And surrendering the whole Michael Jackson feud or whatever the hell this entire week was?"

 

Tina nodded. "At the auditorium. You don't have to join if you don't want to."

 

"Yeah, I don't think I will. I'll just watch from the distance. It was crazy, wasn't it? Everything?"

 

"Oh, yeah," Mike agreed. "But you know what, we made it out in the end without getting rock salt in our eyes by some psycho background Warbler, all is well."

 

Daniel laughed. "All is well? Just wait until Regionals, dude." He threw his arms around Mike and Tina with a bright smile. "I'll totally be rooting for you guys."

 

"So you're transferring?"

 

"And you're not joining the Warblers?"

 

"Exactly."


End file.
